3 More Years
by CrysStar
Summary: Yaoi . Best friends, turned lovers, are forced to face the music. When society despises you and even your own parents become your enemies, can love still stand a fighting chance?
1. Dominance

disclaimer

I, Kagura Fuujinnomai do not own Bankotsu, Jakotsu, Suzaku, Hiten or any of the other characters associated with the Inuyasha series.

I get nothing from writing my Fanfics.

I am simply a fangirl who wishes to share her passion with the rest of the world.

- sincerely,

Kagura Fuujinnomai

* * *

(AN. This was a challenge fic. What's the challenge? Write something that makes even ME squick!!

As such, I must now give you fair warning that this story is not for the faint of heart!  
It is designed to be thought-provoking and true to life, not flowery, rainbow-colored romance.

That aside:

For clarification purposes: Though each is a different genre, this does take place in the same universe as my other work. The setting is sometime after the one called "Aisuru" yet 4 years before the one called "Not For All The World" so if you like this piece and find yourself wanting more, please see my other works!

As always, please Read, Review, and most importantly, Enjoy. )

**Chapter One: Dominance**

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* * *

  
**

'Another day, another splitting headache.'

"Oh Ban-Chan are you sure you don't want me to get you something while I'm out? I hate to see you looking like you're hurt! Maybe some pocky?"

Bankotsu held the cold press to his forehead, waving off his mother's worry yet again.  
"I'm fine Mama, go on and do your shopping. Don't worry about me."

"Alright I'll be back soon!"  
Mama gave him a quick peck on the cheek before ducking out of the house. She didn't notice the way Bankotsu growled at her fleeting backside. 'How old does she think I am?! Five?!' Here he was, a teenager, taller than her, and she was still treating him like a baby!

"It's not like I've never had my ass handed to me before…" He grumbled this as he wandered off to the bathroom and peered into the mirror. The damage looked minimal to Bankotsu, but based on the looks he'd gotten, very startling to everyone else. There was a large purple bruise right in the center of his forehead, courtesy of Hiten Raiyuki. The two best friends had literally butted heads all afternoon and Bankotsu had lost spectacularly. How? Well Bankotsu couldn't really remember… 'It was fun though'.

He was addicted to that kind of rushing adrenaline and excitement! When he collided with any of the other football players, he could knock them right off their feet. Challenging others to contests of strength gave him a rush like nothing else! On the football field Bankotsu was no longer human, but a wild, bloodthirsty ram. He could bowl anyone out of his way; crush anyone who dared oppose him! 'Everyone that is, except Raiyuki Hiten…'

Bankotsu still remembered the very first time he'd met Raiyuki. They'd attended the same school for years but he'd never noticed him until the two were paired up during practice. The coach got a real kick out of pitting the newest recruits up against his star player just to see how long they could remain standing. Bankotsu liked this arrangement. It saved him the trouble of going out of his way to find new opponents.

On that not so special Saturday morning, Bankotsu was running a little bit late to practice.  
When he arrived on the field the other members of the team greeted him cheerfully; jeering and joking on his tardiness.

"What took you, IchiBan?"  
"Busy with your girlfriend again?"

"Maybe!" Bankotsu laughed, exchanging various handshakes and nods with each of them as he made his way toward the locker room. He was forced to stop short however, as the coach stood right in front of the door. "Good morning Ichiban!" The overly-zealous coach greeted, slapping him heartily on the back. If Bankotsu had been wearing his uniform that slap would have landed directly on the large blue number one that belonged on his back. "You don't need to change into your uniform! Got a special treat for my star player today!"

He led Bankotsu back onto the field and the other boys gathered around. The excitement spread instantly. They'd seen this many times before. "Fresh meat?" many of them guessed, sounding hopeful. "Poor guy."  
"Bankotsu's gonna cream 'im"  
"Yeah, as usual."

"Stand right here," the coach instructed, and Bankotsu did so, laughing along with his friends as the coach turned to go fetch him his newest opponent. "I feel bad for this guy already."  
"Haze time," the others shrugged.

The coach returned after only a moment, grinning broadly as he led the guy he introduced as "Raiyuki Hiten, everyone!" The others greeted their newcomer; some jeered and some actually laughed out loud, but Bankotsu only stared. "What the fuck! He looks just like Ichiban!"  
"Twins for sure!"  
"Weird…"

They were right. This Raiyuki guy looked very much like Bankotsu himself. His long black hair was twisted up in a braid and his pale lips were curled up into an infectious, cocky grin.  
"Nice to meet you."

Well that was the understatement of the century. Formalities were such a waste of time.  
Bankotsu could already tell this Raiyuki would prove to be a worthy opponent. It wasn't hard to guess how much power he had in those thick, tanned arms. He knew a fellow ram when he saw one... 'Perfect.' Were those chocolate cat-eyes sizing him up too?

"Now Raiyuki-san," The coach interrupted their staring match to give Hiten instruction,  
"Try your best to knock Bankotsu off his feet. Impress him and you can join the team."

"Sounds easy enough," that cocky grin replied.

"That's what they all said."  
"Yeah."  
"Right before Bankotsu sent em to the hospital."  
"Crying like bitches."

"That's enough boys!" The coach ushered Bankotsu and Hiten away from their mouthy audience and the two stood facing each other. Already their eyes locked, ready and waiting, just like their bodies that positively itched to meet. It was impossible to tell who initiated and who reacted. The two collided like crashing thunder; teeth bared and horns gnashing.  
A tackling attempt quickly grew into a deadlocked wrestling match. Neither could force the other from his feet. Hiten's cocky grin suited his powerfully unyielding spirit and Bankotsu couldn't help but mimic it, even as he realized he'd finally met his match.

"Harder!"  
Hiten obeyed, growling as he forced their heads together. Heat, pain, and fierce ambition clashed; numbed, and at the same time savored. The two panted, grunted, and forced their bodies together countless times, but neither could dominate the other. How long had they remained like that, locked in each other's unyielding embrace? Neither could tell. Time was lost, swallowed by ferocity; determination.

But finally, in the end they hit the ground at the exact same time. Hiten collapsed right on top of Bankotsu; utterly exhausted. With the cold grass on his back and that sweaty, heated forehead pinned up against his own, Bankotsu panted in perfect unison with his newfound match. "Never- I've never met anyone that could-" His lungs hurt too much to finish. His entire body ached…

"Does that mean," Hiten panted, "you're impressed?"

"Yeah…"

That cocky grin shown just as confident as ever and those cat-like eyes sparkled just as cheerfully. 'Amazing.' That's all Bankotsu's shocked mind could comprehend. He immediately wanted to spar again; to feel that powerful body against his own until he couldn't handle it anymore. Time flew. Many times he won the game and many times he lost, and their relationship strengthened all the while. Raiyuki Hiten; the most impressive, addictive man he'd ever met…

"Daydreaming again?"

Bankotsu snapped out of his memory, whipping around to face the sneering Jakotsu who'd seemingly appeared from nowhere. "Aisuru?! How'd you get in my house?"

"I have my waysss" the older male hissed, sounding just like the slippery serpent he was.  
Jakotsu slid right into the bathroom and attached himself to his secret lover.  
"Missed you today." he whispered, flicking his tongue out to tease his stunned partner.  
He just barely tasted the salt on that delectable neck. Bankotsu had obviously only just returned from football practice. His scent was husky, gently accentuated by a touch of sweat. Just one lick made Jakotsu more hungry for him; ravenous. He sank his fangs into that irresistible neck and shoved Bankotsu up against the wall.

'Everyone's always trying to make me their bitch.' Bankotsu couldn't help but think this. Jakotsu was so persistent, just like Hiten. Each played the same game, trying to force him to his knees, and Bankotsu loved them too much to refuse. With Jakotsu in particular, there was no denying him what he wanted. Those smooth fingers slid right up under his shirt and lifted it off over his head before immediately tugging his pants out of the way. With their heated skin pressed together, Bankotsu allowed himself to be kissed by those hungry red lips, noting the fact that Jakotsu had already kicked the door closed. "Let'sss fuck," his serpent hissed, flicking his tongue out, and tracing wet kisses further down until they met the object of his desire.

Jakotsu stood on his knees, running his smooth, heated tongue out over the tender, loose flesh, amused by the way his lover's excitement made itself known. Bankotsu nearly growled in frustration as that tantalizing heat teased him. "Mama might come back soon…" he offered this warning, but at the same time slid his fingers into Jakotsu's hair and yanked him closer.  
"Put it in your mouth."

Jakotsu shook his head, teasing his tongue along the entire length of his partner's earnestly swelling erection. "That's not what I came here for…"

"Fucking stubborn-" Bankotsu growled as he shoved his cross-dressing lover away, but Jakotsu was not fazed. He merely stood and turned around, accepting the challenge. Those painted red nails touched his toes as he bent forward in those heels and presented his lover with the succulent swell of his hips; shameless and provocative. That tight red dress rode up easily as he backed up; teasing, tempting. "I saw you at practice today," he purred, "wrestling with that other boy… Ooh, it makes me so hot seeing you fight like that…"

"We weren't fighting," Bankotsu had said this without thinking. He was preoccupied with thoroughly wetting his fingers. Thinking of anything else while Jakotsu was bent over like this was very difficult. "It's just a game we like to play."

"A hot, sweaty, delicious game," The mischievous cross dresser teased. "I demand you play with me too." Bankotsu scoffed, roughly shoving his fingers inside of his infuriating partner.  
"Oh, yes!" Jakotsu was so loud. His bright red dress and those noises only spurred Bankotsu on more. Those gasping, shuddering breaths meant pain and pleasure rolled into one; exactly what he wanted. This conniving temptress wasn't even wearing anything under that dress…

He backed up so those fingers slid completely inside, but then refused when Bankotsu made to replace them with his tortured manhood. "Want me?" Jakotsu teased, standing to block his lover's next advance. Now it was Bankotsu's turn to hiss. "Yes…"  
"Badly?"  
"Yes, yes!"  
"Then lay down."  
"You lay down," was Bankotsu's immediate retort.  
But Jakotsu only giggled as he turned, caught hold of Bankotsu's long, braided hair and yanked him away from the wall. The two kissed automatically; fiercely, passionately and wrestled for dominance all the while. In his mind Bankotsu was right back on the football field, with his throbbing headache, denying those powerful tan arms. 'Dominance.' It had never caused him frustration until he'd met someone who could match his strength. Jakotsu was no more stubborn than usual but suddenly Bankotsu desperately wanted to pin him down and forcibly reclaim his dominance. "Aisuru," he growled, practically begging in his frustration, "just let me-"  
"No." Jakotsu snapped. This snake would neither be forced nor charmed.

"Fuckin'- fine." Bankotsu panted. He dragged his victorious lover to the ground and Jakotsu wasted no time in settling on top of him. The red dress rode up further as Jakotsu sank lower, allowing Bankotsu to sheathe himself completely in that tight, delicious heat. "Oh, yes…" Apparently this cross dresser had taken many riding lessons. He threw his beautiful head back and moved those hips with perfect, trained finesse. The friction only encouraged him. The cold tile beneath his palms was ignored, just like those restricting red heels. Those delicious hips crashed against Bankotsu's as his lover did all the work for him. Intense erotic humiliation melted into smoldering pleasure as Bankotsu moved his hips to Jakotsu's rhythm. Being dominated had never felt so amazing. "Hahh, oh, Aisuru…" His eyes slid closed as the pressure doubled and the sound of their moans danced along with their sweat-kissed, intimately entwined bodies. Their hips crashed again and again. Bankotsu yanked his lover closer, practically biting the lips that moaned his name as liquid ecstasy spilled out onto their stomachs. Dark blue eyes slid open to lock with stormy grey as Bankotsu joined his lover in climax; pumping his own pleasure into that flawless body.

The two of them panted in nearly perfect unison as they made to catch their breath. Smooth, cherry lips claimed Bankotsu's once again, swallowing his moan as Jakotsu moved to break the intimate connection of their exhausted bodies. "No, no," Bankotsu couldn't help but whisper. Why was there never any time to just lie still and enjoy the afterglow of their lovemaking?  
"I have to go," Jakotsu apologized, even as his lover wrapped his arms around him.

Bankotsu kissed him, trying to stave off the miserable loneliness that was already starting to settle into his heart. "I love you, I love you…" He mumbled between each kiss, practically begging his lover to stay, even though he knew it was foolish. Their relationship was wrought with frustration and pain, just because they were both so infuriatingly male. "It's not fair…"

"Someday it will be," those cherry lips promised, trying to kiss away his troubles. "When we're older, we can be together…"

"Do you swear?"

"Of course my love." Jakotsu stood then, quickly straightening out the kinks in his dress and fixing his tousled hair in the mirror. Bankotsu took his example, kicking his pants off as he stood as well and made quick work of the cleanup. "I'll take a shower too," he decided, pulling his lover back to himself to offer a goodbye kiss. "Will I see you tomorrow?"

"Doubt it."

"Aisuru…."

"You quit worrying about that!" Jakotsu insisted, "go wash up already! Bad enough you almost got cum on my dress!"

"So vulgar," Bankotsu sighed, kissing him long and hard. "But oh, I love you so."

"I love you too babe." The cross dresser murmured, trying to break free of Bankotsu's controlling hold. Finally he succeeded and made to leave, but the moment he opened the door he startled backward, right back into Bankotsu. "Mama!?"

The blackheaded woman was frozen on the spot, with a face that almost perfectly mimicked her son's shock. Her hand hung in the air, as if she had been just about to knock on the door.  
"I think she heard us…" Jakotsu whispered, ignoring his lover's sarcastic retort of "No, you think?!"

Eventually Mama regained her ability to move, though she was still unable to form a coherent sentence. "Bankotsu, y- You and, and together with… him?!" Her voice was little more than a disbelieving whisper.

Bankotsu's cheeks burned pink as he held his partner in place, practically hiding behind Jakotsu. "Mama please don't freak out…"

"He's a man! A cross-dressing, freak of a man!"

Jakotsu fired up at once, turning almost as red as his dress, "Excuse me?!"

"Wait, wait, wait!" Bankotsu just barely caught his infuriated lover, "we can talk about this like calm, rational adu-"

"You are not an adult!"

"Yes he is!"

"You shut up! Get away from my son!"

"Mama just-"

"No! Ban-Chan you're fifteen; You're a child, he's an adult! This is not even legal!"

"It's only a three year difference!" Jakotsu pointed out, but this only made her more upset.

"Don't. You. Even. Talk. To. me." She forced each word out, looking like she might seriously want to hurt him. "Keep your pedophile, male parts away from my son and out of my house!"

"Mama how can you say that?! He didn't do anything to you!"

"Ban-Chan be quiet!"

"Quit calling me that! I am not a kid!"

"Enough! Your poor father would die of shame! Have you even seen yourself, Bankotsu?! This is just- disgusting!"

Bankotsu choked on his next retort, enervated by those words. "Disgusting…" he echoed, meeting those furious blue eyes with his hurt, matching ones. Just a moment ago he'd thought that his inability to be with Jakotsu was the most painful thing he'd ever feel, but the newly born miserable shame far outweighed that… "I know it's disgusting."  
Never had he seen or heard his mother act like that. There was something about homosexuality. Something that turned men into monsters and mothers into enemies…  
"It's not like I wanted to be this way…"

For a while no one spoke, not even Jakotsu, who had at some point turned to face Bankotsu.  
Those onyx eyes shown with loving concern. They were everything he treasured, yet everything he just could not have. He bowed his head, refusing to let the heated shame flow from his already miserable eyes. "But I can't help it. I love Jakotsu…"

This confession seemed to reduce his mother's anger, at least to allow for more calm speech.  
"Kujaku-san," she began, addressing Jakotsu formally by his last name, "I need to talk to my son. If you leave my house, right now, I will not call the police." She then turned her back to them, allowing Bankotsu privacy, since he was still naked.

Jakotsu held that beautiful, miserable face in his hands. He hadn't seriously considered it before, but their age difference really was a bit startling. When Bankotsu looked so sad like this, he seemed even smaller; younger. At the moment he was on the verge of tears, overcome by the intense shame of his own 'disgusting' emotions. "It's okay," Jakotsu whispered, nuzzling his affection into the crook of his young lover's neck. "I have to leave, but I will still be with you, understand?" He held Bankotsu's hand up and pressed it against his chest so those shaking fingers could feel the beat of his heart. "Feel that?"

Bankotsu nodded, letting a little sniffle betray his forcedly calm composure.

"It means I love you." His precious Aisuru promised, speaking just loud enough for his mother to hear. "Even if we never touch again, I will only love you more. Day by day, year by year..."

He made to leave, but Bankotsu caught him once more. Their last kiss was wet with the salt of his tears; the bitter regret of the only thing he could never change. To think he had been so frustrated by the desire for masculine dominance. Now all he could think of was how badly he wished he had been born female. He would have made that sacrifice, just for the sake of this; the only feeling that made life itself worth the effort.

"I love you, I love you- wait… Please-"

Jakotsu pried those insistent hands off, trying not to look at the misery in those intense blue eyes. "When you're eighteen, we can make this work."

"No, no wait."

"Bankotsu…" The younger male startled, he hadn't heard Jakotsu call him by name for years.  
"We can not be together."

"Don't say that!"

"I have to…"

Immediately those fingers closed around one of Jakotsu's thin, feminine wrists. So tightly that it hurt. "You don't mean that," Bankotsu insisted, trying to yank him back into the room. "Call me at least! Text me! We can still-"

"No, my love." One by one Jakotsu pried each finger from his bruising wrist, holding three of them up to those puffy red eyes. "Three years. And then you can hear my voice again."

"No, no…" His entire body shook with disbelief. Bankotsu thought he might puke. "Aisuru-"

"Don't call me that."

Those words sank like knives into his heart. It hurt so badly he couldn't move. Then the knives twisted, moving along with the thin, beautiful body that slid from his own. "Three years."  
Those red lips promised that one last thing, and then Jakotsu turned around, true to his word, and walked out of his life, for Bankotsu's own good.

Before he knew it, Jakotsu was out of that house, walking down the street, and gazing listlessly at the sky as he thought of those wet blue eyes. Maybe his younger companion had been more muscle-bound, but Jakotsu was stronger inside. Walking away was the only option, so he would do it, despite the pain. He could do anything in fact, for the sake of the only one he'd ever loved… 'My poor Aisuru…'

'I know it's disgusting.'

Secretly, in his own heart, he too felt shame like that. If only he had been born truly female, like these tight, form fitting clothes. 'A piece of filth, Yes…' but at least then society would not hate him so completely. He'd only have to hate himself…

"Three more years…"


	2. Grief

disclaimer

I, Kagura Fuujinnomai do not own Bankotsu, Jakotsu, Suzaku, Hiten or any of the other characters associated with the Inuyasha series.

I get nothing from writing my Fanfics.

I am simply a fangirl who wishes to share her passion with the rest of the world.

- sincerely,

Kagura Fuujinnomai

(AN. This was a challenge fic. What's the challenge? Write something that makes even ME squick!!  
As such, I must now give you fair warning that this story is not for the faint of heart!  
It is designed to be thought-provoking and true to life, not flowery, rainbow-colored romance.

That aside:

As always, please Read, Review, and most importantly, Enjoy. )

**3 More years**

**Chapter Two: Grief**

**

* * *

  
**

"I don't want it."

"Bankotsu sit back down and finish your dinner!"

The stubborn teenager turned back around, looked his father straight in the eye, and repeated himself more clearly. "I don't fucking want it."

"What did you just-"  
"Don't argue at the table!"

Taking advantage of his mother's finally useful tendency to nose her way into everything, Bankotsu hurried upstairs and locked himself into his bedroom. He lie on his bed, not even bothering to turn on the lights and closed his eyes, trying to shove the guilt back down into his stomach. He knew that mother had spent the last five hours preparing the dinner he'd just refused, but that was precisely why he couldn't eat it. 'That treacherous bitch…'

Or as Jakotsu liked to call her, 'filth.' How many times had Bankotsu yelled at him for that? How many times had he grown angry and defended mother against his boyfriend's bias? Probably about a hundred. What a waste, since Jakotsu was right all along. They could have spent those precious moments kissing instead…

Now that he thought about it, he realized the two of them had wasted countless moments like that, years even. If only he'd told Jakotsu the very second he realized he loved him. If only they'd taken advantage of every single second they had spent together. Seven years, that's how long Bankotsu had loved him, and yet he'd refused to even let Jakotsu touch him until two years ago. 'Until he finally said he loved me back.'

"What a fucking waste." He may as well have taken advantage of at least a few meaningless nights of hot, passionate sex. After all, he was gay. Society was going to treat him like a mindless sex addict anyway. The love didn't matter to anyone else. It was almost as if it didn't exist at all; nothing but a shared fantasy between the two of them. That's what his parents had reduced it to. 'Disgusting', they said. 'Deviant,' they called him. 'Well what the fuck do they know?'

"I love him." it was that simple. Sex was just a tiny part of something so much greater. Was that so difficult to understand?

Bankotsu sighed as he stared up at the ceiling, listening to his cellphone ring. Who in the world would be calling him this late? Not Jakotsu, that much he knew. Jakotsu had completely stopped calling and visiting him. It had been nearly two months since he'd even seen his lover. Were they even lovers anymore? No. Especially not in the physical sense.  
They did attend the same high school, but since Jakotsu was a 12th year while he was in 9th, they had literally nothing to bring them together there either.

Now, with all of this time to be alone and think it over, Bankotsu came to realize that he had literally nothing in common with Jakotsu. Nothing. And yet that strange, mischievous cross dresser was all he could think about… 'I'm so stupid.'

'Bankotsu, we can not be together.'  
That's what Jakotsu had told him; looked him in the eye and told him. Yet Bankotsu was still foolish enough to torture himself with thoughts of their being together.

'He meant that we have to break up.'

Just thinking about it was too much. It was lucky Jakotsu hadn't called him, because if he ever heard words like that, he might not have lived through it the second time. 'He's not even mine anymore…' He knew that. He'd told himself so many times in his head. But somehow he just could not move on.

Bankotsu buried his head into his pillow with a wry smile stuck on his face, unable to stop thinking of the one he'd lost. How many times had he been together with Jakotsu on this bed? Of course it was not a smart idea to curl up like this and remember the way it felt to be with him. It only made him feel worse, but Bankotsu couldn't help it.

Refusing food was only part of the plan. Lack of food meant lack of energy, and so finally he could sleep, instead of being awake to feel this pain. If he closed his eyes and focused, he could even pretend his beautiful partner lay beside him right now…

Those sparkling onyx eyes would be filled with joy, as usual, just happy to be looking at him. Those soft red lips would meet his own with those long, smooth fingers on his face, holding it as if it were a treasure. 'Goodnight,' lovely Jakotsu would whisper, and then those long ebony lashes would flutter once more before he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"Your son is grieving."

"What do you mean?" Mama's eyes were wide with confusion. She stood before the school counselor, looking just like a lost child. "You mean like at a funeral?"

"Yes, it is quite apparent. Rapid weight loss, fatigue, depression; a complete lack of appetite, energy and motivation. Surely you've noticed…"

"I have, but… why?"

"Well… Have you had a recent death in the family perhaps?"

"No…"

"Well that is the most common cause with symptoms like this. Loss of a loved one."

Bankotsu avoided his mother's eyes, recognizing that look. She was finally catching on.  
'That stupid woman…'

"Actually, my son did lose a very dear friend of his…"

"Oh!" the counselor grew immediately more hopeful at hearing this, "now we know the cause, so treatment is possible. Try to talk with him more, if you would. Children can feel very powerful emotions, just like adults. It's important to validate those feelings. Let your son know that it is perfectly natural to grieve after losing someone, but also that he must move on and let things be. Mourning is only natural, but it cannot bring what is dead back to life…"

'Grieving, mourning and death…' Those sounded like words that you'd only hear at a funeral. Bankotsu wanted to just slap his stupid mother. He wanted to get up and scream at that clueless counselor. 'He's not dead! _She_ just wont let me be with him!' Yet that interpretation was surprisingly close to the truth. Jakotsu may as well have been dead, since he was dead to Bankotsu. Everything they had was ruined; destroyed in the course of one disastrous day. 'So this is what it feels like at a funeral?'  
That aching, twisting feeling in his stomach… It was manifest of the misery in his heart. He could not even feel hunger because he was already so empty inside…

"I'm afraid we simply cannot leave something like this alone. Malnutrition and refusing food should never be taken lightly, since it can easily turn into starvation. If the symptoms get much worse, they may even require hospitalization."

"Then I will speak to him, like you said, work something out…"

"That is good to hear."

* * *

"Bankotsu, please come out of your room."

"Mama, please kiss my ass."

"I've made your very favorite for dinner…"

"I'm not hungry."

"You haven't eaten for weeks!"

"I don't want to eat anything that you made."  
Bankotsu had his back leaned against his locked bedroom door, absolutely refusing to go downstairs and talk to his mother. "I'm not going to sit around with you, crying about someone who's not dead!"

"But the counselor said-"

"I know what she said! The way you two sat there, talking about me like I wasn't even in the room… That's how you feel right, mom? I might as well be invisible. You don't give a shit how I feel do you?"

"That's not true…"

"Liar…"

"BanChan-"

"You _still_ call me that even when I asked you not to!"

"Because-"

"Because I'm too young for my opinion to matter! Too young for my feelings to matter…"

"No…"

"I wish I were dead."  
There. He'd said it, and meant it with all of his heart. 'Not that it makes any difference.' Nothing mattered either way. A few more weeks of refusing to eat and he'd have his wish granted. She knew that. It was her fault, but for some reason the stupid bitch was practically crying now, begging him to reconsider.

"Please Bankotsu-"

"Just leave me alone."

"I can't."

"Well I can." That said, Bankotsu promptly walked over to the other side of his room, crammed his earphones into his head and cranked up the volume on his ipod.

* * *

"Is Ban here? Everyone said he went home sick…"  
Hiten Raiyuki stood before an older man who looked very similar to his best friend.  
"You must be his father."

"I am." The man nodded in response to Hiten's polite bow.

"I'm Raiyuki Hiten. Ban's my football captain, or well… best friend really. Would it be possible for me to go up and visit him?"

"Well my son is grounded at the moment, s-"

"Wait, wait!" At this point a woman appeared, pushing the man out of her way. "You're my Ban-Chan's best friend, you said?"

"Yeah…"

"I'm his mama," she bowed rather hurriedly, again trying to push her husband out of the way.  
"Oh, Ban-Chan must be so lonely. Please do come in and see him."

"No, no, no!"

Hiten raised an eyebrow as the two of them fell back to argue.  
"That's a boy!" the father was saying, while the mother retorted, "I don't care! Ban-Chan needs someone he can talk to!"

"That's stupid! Put a boy in his room and just leave them there alone?"

"Yes!"

"No."

"Um…" Hiten took a step back, considering just leaving, but Bankotsu's mother reached out and caught hold of him. "Wait, please wait!" For some reason she seemed almost desperate. He couldn't tell if she wanted to cry or scream. "Just…" she fumbled over her words, and even when she forced the question out, Hiten only raised his eyebrows further. "Do you have a girlfriend Raiyuki-san?"

"Yeah…" he responded slowly, completely lost as to why Bankotsu's parents would care about his dating status. But suddenly both of them looked overjoyed.

"Really?" the father wondered, "what's her name?"

"Um… Takahashi, I think."

"That's a last name…"

"Well…" Hiten thought that over, picturing his girlfriend in his head. "She's like… Shorter than me, and with long black hair and…"

"You don't know her first name…"

"Should I?" He gave Bankotsu's mother a dubious look, completely at a loss for why he would bother to memorize something like that. "I mean, she's like my fourth girlfriend this month…"

"It's the tenth of December..." Father muttered, raising an eyebrow back at Hiten.

"Yeah, so?"

"So... what are we standing around out here for?!"

Hiten startled as Bankotsu's mother practically dragged him into their house. "Ban-Chan's room is this one!" she indicated the right door and immediately made to leave. "I'll just leave you two alone okay? So you can talk okay? And maybe come down to dinner at eight okay?"

Hiten nodded mechanically, a little bit disturbed by the huge smile on her face. But in an instant she had disappeared around the corner and he knocked on the door, pleased at the prospect of seeing his best friend again. But unfortunately "Go away!" was the automatic reply.

For a moment Hiten was too stunned to move, but then he retorted, "What the fuck, Ban?!"  
Apparently Bankotsu recognized his voice. In one split second the door swung open and Bankotsu launched himself into his best friend's arms. "Oh, Rai-Chan…" he sighed, clinging to his shocked companion.

"What the hell-" Hiten began, but Bankotsu immediately yanked him into the room and slammed the door behind him. "Thought you were Mama at first…" he explained as he firmly set the lock. "Anyway, yeah, come and sit with me."

Hiten followed him over to the bed and sat down with his strangely behaving doppelganger. Actually, now that he thought about it, Bankotsu didn't look so much like him anymore… He looked somehow thinner, and paler than he used to. "What's going on?" Hiten wondered, a hand to his best friend's face. "You look terrible, Ban…"

"I feel terrible." was all Bankotsu muttered in reply. He then sat right down on Hiten's lap and clung there, burying his head in the other boy's chest.

"Wh-?"

"Shhh…"

Hiten fell silent, trying not to think of the way his body was swiftly heating up. The stillness only seemed to multiply the intense embarrassment of being held by another man like this. At the moment though, Bankotsu was not acting anything like his usual self; cocky and energetic. Somehow he seemed more like a scared child…

Hiten took in the rather dreary look of his best friend's room, noticing that the entire space had been spotlessly cleaned. The light bulbs had been removed from the ceiling and if not for the dull rays of waning sun flitting through the window, it would have been completely dark…

"How'd you convince them to let you in?"

Hiten started at this question, not having any idea of how to answer. "What do you mean?"

"My parents. They haven't let me have any visitors. Not for months…"

"Really?"

"Yeah, so what'd you do to convince them?"

"I dunno…"

"What'd they say to you? Anything weird?"

"Oh, actually yeah. They did mention my girlfriend for some reason."

"Oh, I get it now…"

"Get what?"

"Nothing, it doesn't matter..." Bankotsu was actually smiling now, so Hiten didn't bother prying any more. For some reason this smile seemed empty; wry… He put a hand to Bankotsu's face. It didn't seem warm, so he didn't have a fever, but he definitely looked sick; exhausted. There were dark bags under his eyes, and he instinctively nuzzled closer to the hand on his face, looking like he might fall asleep at any moment…

"Rai-Chan…"

"What?"

"Would you please take a nap with me?"

"Um…" If he hadn't already been blushing, Hiten definitely was now. He looked down at those big blue eyes and knew he couldn't say no. So he simply let his best friend push him down onto the bed and snuggle up beside him. "I'm sorry," Bankotsu whispered, "I know this must feel gross to you."

"No it doesn't," Hiten assured, trying his best to relax so his miserable-looking companion would not feel so bad. "but just so you know… you're the only one I'd let do something this gay to me."

Bankotsu almost chuckled, but seemed too tired to pull it off. "Thanks…" he mumbled vaguely, "It's just that… I can't forget how nice it felt having someone to sleep with…"  
He snuggled even closer as he said this, and Hiten finally began to catch onto the meaning of all of this strange behavior. "You're sick because you're lonely…"

"Yeah, I guess that's true…"

"All this talk about girlfriends…" Hiten mumbled, "are you sad because you lost yours maybe?"

"You could say that…"

"Oh." He thought that over for a moment, but it still didn't make sense to him. Hiten had never once made himself sick over missing someone, let alone a girl. "Ban, If you want, you can have my girlfriend…"

This time Bankotsu really did laugh, but Hiten insisted, "Seriously, we met in math yesterday. She's a girl, so she's only good for sleeping with, but she's really nice and soft. She's got these big, squishy tits and-" Bankotsu cut him off, apparently in pain from snickering too much.

"Rai-Chan... Do you even think before you say that kinda shit?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like… you seriously don't notice how much of a douchebag you are?"

"I am not!" Hiten huffed, affronted, and his best friend conceded even as he continued snickering into his shirt. "Sorry, I shouldn't have called you that."

"Yeah, you should be more grateful." Hiten teased, duly noting the smile he'd incited from his formerly miserable best friend. "Anyway, if you don't want a female that's fine I guess. You can still use me."

"Good. Cuz I like you better."

'Huh! And he said _I_ don't think before I talk…' Hiten watched those blue eyes slide shut again. Bankotsu was silent once more, but this time it was with a more peaceful, pleasant drowsiness. He was snuggled up so close that their noses almost touched…

"Hey Ban?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't get why you're so sad. Can't you just replace your girlfriend?"

"No." those little lips whispered immediately. He didn't even have to consider. "No one can ever replace the one I've lost."

"Oh…"

"But I can pretend…" Bankotsu pulled the soothing warmth of his partner closer. He could tell Hiten was still nervous. Those thick, tan arms were hesitant as they returned his insistent embrace. A comfortable silence fell between the two of them. There was only gentle breathing; a tranquil rhythm of cool, uniquely Hiten-scented comfort. Yet if Bankotsu closed his eyes tight enough and pulled that warmth close enough, sometimes it almost felt like he were lying beside a different, and very sorely missed companion…

'Aisuru…'

"How pathetic." Hiten had spoken the very same words Bankotsu was thinking. Those blue eyes startled back open, burning into miffed brown for only a moment before Hiten closed the distance between them. The heated, wet kiss mimicked the tears that had incited it…  
Comforting, soothing and at the same time shameful. But then again, that's how love always felt.  
Bankotsu let himself be rolled onto his back and helped those powerful hips up onto his lap, not letting the shock distract him for even a moment. Heat. Pleasure. Pain. Guilt… But there was no real difference. He had felt all of these things with Jakotsu too.

'May as well act like what I'm labeled as.'

Gay. Sex addict. There was no difference to society. So why did this kiss feel so empty? This delicious heat, so dirty? Why did Bankotsu's heart hurt more now than it had ever before? Hiten instinctively sensed this. He released the lips that so obviously craved his own and instead held his suffering friend close, letting those tears soak into his shirt. "It's okay Ban…"

"I'm sorry-" Bankotsu choked on his words, shuddering as he buried his face deeper into that warm, protective embrace. The tears wouldn't stop. Miserable, humiliating sobs forced themselves out, refusing to remain trapped in his tortured, forlorn heart. 'I miss him, I love him. So, so much…' He wept these words with his body, refusing to speak them aloud.

'Disgusting. Deviant. Grieving. Lonely. Pathetic…' All at once these conflicting, powerful concepts crashed together in his heart; volatile, poisonous, to the point there was little to do but let them overflow.

Hiten held his best friend only closer, letting each of those shuddering sobs tear at his own heart. Bankotsu's hands had slid under his shirt, but carefully Hiten forced them back down against the mattress. 'See Ban? I'm not a douchebag…' If he were he'd take advantage of this suffering, beautiful body that obviously wanted his own. Maybe the raw, unrestrained passion of spontaneous sex would relieve some of the pent up, miserable frustration in Bankotsu's heart. But Hiten wasn't about to let him make a mistake like that. 'Rebound.' That's what this situation would be called. Never before had Hiten even dreamed he'd wind up in bed, on top of his completely vulnerable, heartthrob of a secret crush. But now that it came down to it, he realized he loved Bankotsu too much to take advantage of him...

"Tomorrow," Hiten whispered, nuzzling his face into that silken, ebony hair. "We'll pretend this never happened. Okay?"

Bankotsu nodded, letting another of those miserable sobs shake the entirety of his exhausted body. "Okay."

"But tonight you can be honest."

Bankotsu could hardly help smiling when he heard those words. He clung just as tightly, sniffling into Hiten's shirt. "Even if I do wind up getting soaked," Those grinning lips muttered, eliciting a wet snicker from the boy pressed against his chest. "That's fine by me."

The two best friends lie there for hours, completely oblivious to the ties of time and space. One cried his eyes out while the other caught his tears. Eventually both fell asleep, wrapped up in the soothing warmth of an unshakable love that neither would ever be foolish enough to admit.

* * *

"My son is grieving…"

Mama leaned against Bankotsu's bedroom door, listening to the sounds of the boys within.  
It was easy to distinguish Bankotsu's voice, though he didn't seem to have much to say. It was mostly just sobbing and miserable whispers that were too quiet for her to understand.

_'Loss of a loved one.'_

'Loss of his gay lover…'

It was still so hard to believe. Bankotsu had always been a picture-perfect child. He never talked back or disobeyed, not even during the dreaded start of his teenage years. How many times had she been at his football games, cheering him on? How many times had she said she was proud of the man he was becoming? A normal, healthy young man…

'But it was all a lie.'

Now, as she leaned against this door, all she could think about was the horrible mistake she'd made of almost walking into the bathroom that day. She'd bought some new cold compresses, and wanted to ask if he'd let her treat his wounds from football practice. But luckily she paused before opening the door, thinking that her son might be trying to bathe.

Bankotsu was certainly not bathing. In fact, he was not even alone in the bathroom. Everything seemed to happen so fast. The shock of hearing those passionate, panting voices was enough to make her entire body freeze up. She could not even think. And then the dread doubled as the door suddenly flew open at the hands of that wide-eyed, cross dressing freak! Simply put… Mama lost it. Never had she known she could even speak such terrible, vulgar words. Especially not to her own son…

'But any mother would have been shocked by something like that...' She had talked it over with him, but Bankotsu refused to go into detail. He'd cried the whole time and only nodded or shook his head in response to her questions. He was humiliated, but had obviously not grasped the seriousness of his actions. Not only had Bankotsu betrayed her trust many times by having his partner stay overnight without telling her of their true relationship, but he'd also engaged himself in numerous acts of unprotected homosexual activity with someone substantially older than himself!

It was just too much. Did he not understand how dangerous that was? How badly he could have gotten hurt? Suppose Jakotsu had contracted an STD without knowing and then passed it on to Bankotsu? Or suppose he had just gotten bored with his younger, less experienced playmate and just left Bankotsu with a broken heart? The idea of young, passionate 'love' was a wonderful notion, but in reality nothing was ever so 'lovely.'

_'I know it's disgusting.'_  
Even Bankotsu had admitted it. Homosexuality itself was a terrible weight to bare, for someone so young. It came with a stigma like nothing else… Public humiliation, social disgrace… Things she'd never before thought her popular, football captain, 'normal' son would ever have to face.

But everything was different now. The 'normal' was fading back into the illusion it really was, and all that was left was Bankotsu himself, in his truest form; gay, whether he liked it or not.

_'It's not like I wanted to be this way…'_

Time seemed to fly by. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, and it became obvious that Bankotsu just could not be who he was before. He was trying, she could tell. He went to football practice just like before and was still the best on the team. His grades didn't fall and he took care of his responsibilities around the house as well. But something just wasn't right. The defiance sprang up out of nowhere, as if something inside of him had finally just snapped. He'd been skipping meals for weeks now, and that was also quick to show. Maybe that was part of the defiance, or maybe he had just lost the will to even care for his body anymore… _'Children can feel very powerful emotions, just like adults.'_

Was this depression affecting him so badly that he just couldn't handle it anymore? If so, then what would happen if it continued?

_'If the symptoms get much worse, they could even require hospitalization.'_

It was so hard to believe. Bankotsu was taller than her, and so much stronger, considering his youth. It seemed only yesterday he was playing on the football field, tackling people twice his size with prideful ease. He used to love that game.

'But nowadays Bankotsu doesn't love anything…'

She wandered into the kitchen and joined her husband at the table, unable to stop thinking of the smiling, happy-go-lucky jock that used to be her son.

"Darling-" she began, but her husband immediately cut her off.  
"He'll get over it," he insisted, not even bothering to look up from his laptop, "you'll see. Bankotsu will quit acting like that when he realizes he's not going to get his way…"

'Could it really be that simple?'  
Oh, how she wished it could be. Absently she traced a finger over the polished wood of the kitchen table; just another part of her spotless, beautiful home. It would be so easy to sit in this lovely, quiet house and pretend everything was okay. But even as she thought this she felt guilty, knowing why her son was so miserable.  
_'I can't help it. I love Jakotsu.'_

_'It is perfectly natural to grieve after losing someone, but he must move on.'_

'But how can he move on? Jakotsu is not dead. He's alive and well…"

Keeping them apart was torture. She was begining to feel like she was no longer protecting Bankotsu, but hurting him even more. It was like dangling a big, juicy steak infront of a starving dog. It was just... cruel.

_'Even if we never touch again, I will only love you more. Day by day, year by year…'_  
The way Jakotsu said that had left an impact, even on her. She didn't want to believe it. She wanted to hate him for what he'd done. But his words were sincere…

'How could anyone possibly move on after hearing something like that?'  
She knew the answer, but was too terrified to speak it. 'He can't…'

_'We can make this work in three years.'_

He meant it. But three years was such a long time. 'People change…' By that time Jakotsu would not only have graduated high school but would also have moved away to attend college. Would Bankotsu even be able to find his way back to Jakotsu? And would Jakotsu still want him when he finally did?…  
'To wait three years, only to find out you can't get back what you've lost…'

It would destroy him. No amount of denial could ever gloss that over.  
_'If the symptoms get much worse…'_

"My son…"

She had spoken without thinking. Her husband raised an eyebrow, but she ignored him. She merely stared down, feeling the heat burning behind her eyes. "My only son…"

The voices of Bankotsu and that counselor mixed together in her head; haunting.  
_'I can't help it…'_  
_'Loss of a loved one.'_  
_'I know its disgusting.'_  
_'Mourning is only natural…'_  
_'I wish I were dead.'_  
_'but it cannot bring what is dead back to life.'_

'No. But I can.'

"We have to do something."

"No we don't." was her husband's automatic retort, but she ignored him again.

"Yes we do. I will not sit by and watch our son slowly destroy himself."

"Letting him fuck around with that freak tranny will destroy him faster."

"He's miserable!"

"But he doesn't have AIDS yet, now does he?!"

She and her husband let out a frustrated growl at almost the exact same time, but neither spoke again. He snatched his keys from the counter and wandered out into the night, while she went to work on dinner. At the very least she had to make sure Bankotsu had the option of eating tonight… If father wasn't going to help then so be it. The stir-fry practically cooked itself anyway. She was excellent with this, Bankotsu's favorite dish.

Her hands moved automatically while her mind raced along. 'Freak tranny, ne?' But somehow she wanted nothing more than to see his painted, smiling face again. Where had Jakotsu gone, anyway? Lately she hadn't even seen him walking home from school like before…

_'Three years. And then you can hear my voice again.'_ Isn't that what Jakotsu had said?  
Well he was doing an excellent job of keeping his word. He'd all but disappeared…

'Three more years.' Well that was just too long. 'At this rate my son won't even live…

for three more years…'


	3. Predator

disclaimer

I, Kagura Fuujinnomai do not own Bankotsu, Jakotsu, Suzaku, Hiten or any of the other characters associated with the Inuyasha series.

I get nothing from writing my Fanfics.

I am simply a fangirl who wishes to share her passion with the rest of the world.

- sincerely,

Kagura Fuujinnomai

(AN. This was a challenge fic. What's the challenge? Write something that makes even ME squick!!  
As such, I must now give you fair warning that this story is not for the faint of heart!  
It is designed to be thought-provoking and true to life, not flowery, rainbow-colored romance.

That aside:

As always, please Read, Review, and most importantly, Enjoy. )

**3 More years**

**Chapter Three: Predator  
**

**

* * *

  
**

"Please pardon the intrusion Mrs. Kujaku. I know it must be terribly rude to interrupt your family on Christmas Morning…"

"Yeah, yeah, niceties, niceties- whatdya want?"

Bankotsu's mother stood on the front step of Jakotsu's house, face to face with the woman who must have been Jakotsu's own mother. They looked nothing alike however. This woman looked… wasted. A sallow, emaciated face and thin limbs. She had a remote control in one hand and a beer in the other, and looked very displeased with having been interrupted.

"You're not one of them teachers again are you?" She asked, raising a suspicious eyebrow,  
"I done said already there's nothing I can do about the girl clothes. Jakotsu likes 'em, he's gonna wear 'em. No power on this earth is gonna stop that pain-in-the-ass Jak-in-the-box."

"No, Mrs. Kujaku, your son is friends with mine."

"Friends huh?" She scoffed, "Which one's yours?"

"Well, my son is the football captain."

"Football captain!" This time Jakotsu's mother actually laughed, "Gets around in those heels, doesn't he? Like I say, at least old Jackie isn't a cheap whore, eh?"

"Ano… might I ask to speak with Jakotsu himself?"

"You can ask but I'll answer the same way I always do. He's not here. He's never here."

"On Christmas Morning?"

"Especially not on Christmas Morning." She grumbled something, taking a swig from her beer, then turned around and yelled over her shoulder. "Ren, get down here!"

The one called Ren joined her then, looking confused. He was taller, stocky, and had a Christmas hat perched on his head, though he didn't look any more merry. Two large tattoos stretched across his face, which looked sour and annoyed. "What, Oka-san?"

"Whose your brother sleepin' with nowadays?"

"Uh, lessee…" Ren immediately began counting on his fingers, mumbling under his breath.

'Is he seriously counting names?' Bankotsu's mother watched the two of them with a sense of dread building in her stomach. Ren had run out of fingers. Did that seriously mean there were over ten different places Jakotsu could be right now?!

"Oh yeah!" Ren slapped himself on the forehead, "Yeah he said he wanted to have Christmas with his best friend. That Midari kid."

"Which one's that," his mother prodded, "the one with the purple lips?"

"No, no, Midari's the redhead that lives in the mansion, you know."

"Oh, that pretty little rich girl!" Now Jakotsu's mother looked hopeful, "well maybe o'l Jackie will make himself useful and knock her up."

"Um…"

"What Renkotsu?"

"Midari Suzaku is a boy."

"Figures." She rolled her eyes, shoving Renkotsu back into the house before turning back to her visitor. "There you have it. My useless son is at the Midari Estate. But I'm sure he'll be there all winter vacation so you best not bother them rich people on a day like this."

"I understand," Bankotsu's mother took a bow, which was returned with a slight raising of that beer bottle.  
"Thank you very much."

"No prob!" With that said, Mrs. Kujaku slammed the door right in her face, and that was that.

* * *

"I'm home."

She waved at her son, who immediately stood and tried to escape back to his room. Luckily, however, Hiten Raiyuki caught him and yanked him back down. "Don't be a pain," his bored-looking doppelganger yawned, and so Bankotsu returned to his seat, grumbling all the while.

"Have you boys opened your presents yet?" She wondered, watching their exchange. Hiten repeatedly tugged his companion back to his side and kept growling in Bankotsu's ear. "Quit!"

"No!"

"At least answer her question."

"I don't want any presents," the stubborn Bankotsu retorted, earning himself a sharp slap to the back of his head. "Ow, damnit Rai-Chan!"

"You quit being such a bitch!"

"You're a bitch!"

"Yeah?!" Hiten promptly stood and shoved Bankotsu right off his chair, then turned and bolted out of the room, laughing as his best friend tore after him.

"They've been fighting like that all week…" Bankotsu's father took his seat at the table, taking a sip of his coffee as he watched the two blurs that used to be boys speed through the room. "Like cat and dog or something…"

"Should we stop them?" She wondered, trying to see if she could catch one.

"Why? Boys will be boys. Let 'em play."

Sure enough, the two jocks sped right through the kitchen one more time before Bankotsu finally tackled his prey. They then wrestled on the ground for a long moment, but ultimately Bankotsu pinned Hiten since he was apparently… ticklish.

"Stop, stop stop, okay!" He laughed, trying to squirm out from under his captor. But Bankotsu only tickled him more, seeming highly amused by the ease of torturing him. Eventually Hiten did manage to throw him off however, and the two bolted right back out of the kitchen, laughing all the while.

"Hiten made Bankotsu eat again today," Father informed, indicating the two clean plates on the table. "I tell you what, I like him a whole lot better than that walking AIDS factory…"

"Well it doesn't matter who you like better." Mama scoffed, "this isn't about you."

"Hiten and Bankotsu are even the same age…"

"I suppose so…" She poked her head out, watching the two boys, who were now wrestling in the living room. "At the very least… It is so nice to see Bankotsu with some energy…"

"Yep. Merry Christmas indeed, courtesy of Raiyuki Hiten."

* * *

It was snowing. Large, twirling flakes were jumbling together to form what almost looked like a whirlwind of falling feathers. The thick, fluffy powder kicked up with every step as Midari Suzaku pranced around in the garden. "It's so beautiful!"

His best friend heartily agreed. "Su-Chan, it's done!" Kujaku Jakotsu announced, smiling proudly as he finally put the finishing touches on their large, lopsided snowman. Just two more red berries and the snowman was smiling too. "Perfect!"

"Wow, you're right Ja-Chan. He even looks like you!"

"It is me," the cross dresser bragged, hurrying over so he could see the snowman from Suzaku's point of view. "Shit, it's kinda bent-looking."

"That's perfect for you!" Suzaku teased, dodging the snowball that his friend seemed to have conjured from thin air. "See? Even your aim is nowhere near straight!"

Jakotsu immediately made to chase him about the garden, lobbing snowballs at his still giggling best friend. "Can't catch me!" The adorable redhead teased, but just as he said this Jakotsu succeeded in tackling him. The two tumbled to the ground in a flurry of powdery snow and joyful amusement. "You cheated…" Green eyes sparkled up into affectionate onyx. At that moment the world stopped spinning and in fact stood completely still. There was only the two of them. Snow; somehow soft and warm. Those eyes… That gentle, sweet voice… As if on instinct Jakotsu leaned down to nuzzle his adorable companion. "Love you."  
"Yeah…" Suzaku whispered, closing his eyes as he returned that affectionate gesture.

'He is so amazing.' Jakotsu couldn't help but think this as his eyes drank in the sight of his lovely companion. Suzaku always had this effect on him. Perhaps on everyone with eyes. If one dared look at him too long they only grew thirsty; restless. Every smooth, flawless inch of his slender body positively radiated beauty. 'Touch me,' his porcelain skin teased. Those heated, strawberry lips begged. 'Taste me.' But Jakotsu didn't dare. Couldn't dare…

"Keep talking…" And he did. Those pink lips whispered sweet little nothings that Jakotsu wasn't even really listening to. Something about that voice… That smooth, youthful face.  
He knew it was stupid to lie with his best friend like this; cruel even. Suzaku was just so young, so gentle and innocent. As Jakotsu closed his eyes and slid his hands over that silken porcelain skin, he carefully imagined this young, naïve body belonged to the one he loved…

'Aisuru…'  
The one he'd already tainted…

'Pedophile.'  
That cruel label still echoed in his mind, torturing; haunting. But it couldn't kill this feeling. Nothing could. "I love you so…"  
'and hate myself just as much…'

"Ja-Chan, why are you crying?"  
He shook his head, trying to dissuade the concern in that sweet little voice. "Just got something in my eye…"

"Liar."

"Sorry." Jakotsu sat up, quickly wiping away those annoying, tell-tale little droplets.

"You keep spacing out like that," Suzaku observed, "are you hurt? Maybe somewhere I can't see? Hurt on the inside?" Those sweet emerald eyes blinked with genuine concern; incurably naïve, but still so sincere. His tiny fingers traced over Jakotsu's chest, and so the cross dresser took hold of that gentle hand and pressed it up against his heart.

"This is the problem," he explained, "it's stuck in my chest, when it already belongs to somebody else."

"Go to him then," Suzaku suggested, "and give it back."

"I wish I could…" The two fell silent then and Jakotsu merely nuzzled closer to that soft, snowy countenance, doubtful that Suzaku could even comprehend the dark, painful desires of his lonesome heart. But that was not entirely true.

"Hey Ja-Chan…" the redhead began, and for a moment those green eyes sparkled with a dreamy, far off affectionate gaze, "can you keep a secret?"

"What?"

His whispered reply was almost inaudible, even though those sweet pink lips were almost touching Jakotsu's face. "There's someone that I-"

"What are you two doing?"

Reality came crashing down with the appearance of Suzaku's father, so Jakotsu immediately disentangled himself from his much younger, much more innocent companion, standing to face their newest arrival. "Playing in the snow..."

"Oh really?" Midari Kujaku chuckled, leaning down to help his son get back up.

"I don't need help," Suzaku huffed, voicing his annoyance to his father. "Why the sudden interruption, Oto-San?" The taller redhead didn't seem perturbed by this rude welcoming.  
In fact he seemed even more joyful, apparently happy just to be with his son. "Aw, I'm sorry little ChibiSu…" He leaned right down and nuzzled his face up against the obviously annoyed teenager. "I only wanted to make sure you were playing somewhere safe…"

"Lemme go…" the embarrassed redhead insisted, trying and failing to shove his much stronger, taller captor off. "Oto-sannnn…" He whined, glad when Jakotsu finally interrupted.

"Also Midari-sama," The cross dresser offered, addressing the owner of the expansive garden they'd been playing in for hours. "Merry Christmas."

"Same to you," He replied, grinning like a pumpkin as he stood. He was absently brushing the snow from his son's jacket and still refused to let him go. "Did my ChibiSu show you his very amazing, very expensive gift?" he was obviously bragging, but Jakotsu happily took the bait.

"What is it?" The cross dresser immediately prodded.

"Come and see it," Midari Sr. took his son by the hand and led the two boys out of the garden and into the driveway of his mansion-like home. "Tah-dah!"

"Holy…" Jakotsu was almost speechless. A cherry-red convertible was parked outside. The large green bow was still tied to the hood.

"I figured Chibi-Su will be 16 soon enough…" Midari explained.

"It's amazing…" Jakotsu whispered, but to his surprise, Suzaku scoffed with derision.  
"I don't want it."

"What?!" Jakotsu's eyes grew so wide that Midari couldn't help but snicker at the sight of the shocked cross dresser. "My ChibiSu is such a brat, ne?"

"Su-Chan are you kidding?!" Jakotsu insisted, hurrying over to check if his best friend might be delusional. "Do you have a fever?"

"No…" Those timid emerald eyes were avoiding those of his companion. "I just don't want it."

Midari-sama shook his head as he put an arm around Jakotsu, who looked almost as put-off as he did. "Stubborn as an ox ne? But I figure I'll just take him to pick an even better car on his birthday."

"I don't want any presents!" Suzaku insisted, ignoring his father's exasperated sigh.

"Wow, Su-Chan…" Apparently Jakotsu could say no more.

"Well at least someone appreciates me," Midari shrugged, ushering his new comrade back toward the house, "Ja-Chan you look frozen. Let us go and have some hot chocolate…"

"I hate chocolate." Suzaku interrupted, finally succeeding in escaping his father's hold.

"So stubborn, ChibiSu." His father sighed, shrugging as he helped Jakotsu up the stairs. "Can't believe you're wearing high heels in the snow…"

"Oh, I can wear these anywhere," the cross dresser bragged, calling out to his best friend as he followed the redheaded adult into the house. "You're really not coming?"

"No, I'll wait out here." was Suzaku's immediate reply. He was sitting on the convertible, staring up at the sky, obviously much more impressed with the snow than the expensive red vehicle.

Jakotsu followed the taller, redheaded male into the expansive house, catching glances of the drawing room, an ebony grand piano and a large, sparkling crystal chandelier as he passed. Even though he'd been staying here for over a week now, Suzaku's home still amazed him. It's grandiosity mirrored that of it's owner. Midari Kujaku was obviously a very powerful man. Not just his stately mansion-like home and foreign, luxury vehicles, but his prestigious demeanor demanded respect. Even now, on Christmas morning, he donned a crisp black suit, unlike the festive, relaxed attire of his wife's current choice. Mrs. Midari, whom Jakotsu only knew as 'Mama', since that's what everyone called her, bowed as they entered her spotless kitchen.

"Welcome home, Midari-sama," she greeted, offering her husband a second bow. "Am I to assume you are ready for lunch?"

"Not quite," he replied, taking the seat she had immediately pulled out for him, "but I will have some coffee." He gestured to Jakotsu, who was also being helped into a seat by his gracious wife. "And Ja-Chan will have hot chocolate."

"My, my, I sure have been seeing a lot of you lately," Mama whispered, giving Jakotsu an affectionate smile. "How nice that Suzaku has someone to play with…"  
Jakotsu timidly returned her smile. Vaguely he noticed that her lips were pink just like Su-Chan's and her eyes were very blue. If he'd had to guess, he would have bet she was a very attractive female. 'Figures.' Jakotsu watched her bustle about her spotlessly clean, marble kitchen, wondering absently if she had been through some kind of 'perfect housewife' training.  
It looked like this woman had literally been pure-bred in America and then shipped overseas, just like one of Midari's foreign-made, luxury cars: a trophy wife to perfectly suit a suave, powerful businessman…

"Like my wife?"

Jakotsu startled out of his thoughts. Apparently Midari-sama had been watching him very closely.  
"Oh, no!" he assured, waving him off, but then Jakotsu realized that he might have sounded rude and stumbled over himself, trying to retract that statement. "Not that I don't like her or anything, I'm sure she's a lovely fil- I mean female… um… woman."

Midari didn't seem bothered. He narrowed those emerald eyes, catching on immediately. "Oh I see. You prefer men."

"Uh-"

"I thought so." He paused, sitting up as his wife set the drinks out in front of them. She placed two extra teacups, a platter of cakes, a sugar bowl, and a small silver container of what Jakotsu assumed was cream before bowing once again. "Go on now, Mama" Mr. Midari instructed, waving her off, "the men are talking."

She nodded with that robotic, gracious smile and then bowed to Jakotsu as well. "It was lovely seeing you again, Kujaku-san."

"You too…" Jakotsu replied, more out of habit than honesty. 'Oh, I almost forgot, her husband's first name is the same as my last name…' As she left Jakotsu couldn't help but wonder why she never referred to her spouse by his first name. 'Didn't she call him Midari-sama? That's kinda weird…'

"Watching my wife again?"

Jakotsu felt his cheeks color as he was once again startled out of his thoughts. Midari was stirring sugar into his coffee as he spoke, seeming somewhat wan. "I suppose she is nice to watch…" He pushed the cakes over to his guest, dropping his formal tone. "Anyway I promise her cooking is not as bland as her personality."

"She made these?" Jakotsu took one of the little teacakes into his hands. It looked more like artwork than a piece of food… "They're very pretty."

Midari cocked his head to the side, seeming to be contemplating. He was still spooning sugar into his coffee, and didn't even bat an eyelash when he spoke again. "Not as pretty as you."  
Wide onyx eyes met with unabashed emerald and Jakotsu suddenly forgot how many hours he'd spent playing in the snow. Was it getting hotter in this room?

"Um… thank you?"

Somehow the heated china felt too hot on his frozen fingers. Was he embarrassed by that unexpected compliment, or just affected by this overwhelmingly awkward situation? The man across from him merely sipped his coffee, voicing a very straightforward question.  
"Have you slept with my son?"

"What?!"

"Sorry, perhaps that was a bit rude of me." For some reason, it seemed like he wasn't sorry at all. The shock on Jakotsu's face had probably given him the exact answer he'd been hoping for. That kind of look meant 'Are you crazy?!'

"It's just that I noticed the way you look at Suzaku…"

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Jakotsu challenged.

"Well I'm a parent," Midari shrugged, "I know a predator when I see one."

"No, no I just think he's pretty," Jakotsu insisted, staring hard at his coco to avoid the other man's gaze. "And Su-Chan is much too innocent anyway. I wouldn't want to hurt him…"

"Besides, you already have a lover of your own, don't you."  
This time it wasn't a real question, but a statement.  
Jakotsu continued to avoid those intense green eyes, absently sipping his hot chocolate.

"Know how I can tell?"

'I knew he must be smart since he's Su-Chan's dad...' But damn this man was sharp. Was he reading everything solely from body language? "My face?"

"Yeah… The way your eyes flitted to the left when I said you were pretty…" Midari brought one of those teacakes to his mouth, absently running his tongue out over the vanilla designs along the top. "I can also tell you're not lying about sleeping with my son… Suzaku's not your lover…"

"Who is it then?" It was kind of tempting to see how far those sharp green eyes could read.

"Someone you can't have anymore." He said this with a shrug and popped the cake into his mouth. His gaze had not left Jakotsu's even once, but it was still impossible to tell what he thought of his cross-dressing companion. He chased the cake with some more coffee before continuing. "You miss him, ne? Lonely, ne? That's why you've started spending so much time here…"

"Have I overstayed my welcome?"

"You misunderstand." The smile on that handsome face was so reassuring, but somehow Jakotsu couldn't help but feel apprehensive as Midari voiced another question. "I wonder why you've given up on that other boy. Got bored of him? Are you a predator after all?"

"What do you know?!" Jakotsu hadn't meant to snap. It was automatic. The voice of his Aisuru's spastic, homophobe mother was wringing in his ears. He was so sick of people pretending they understood. "Just because I look like this, everyone thinks I'm some kind of psycho rapist…" He glared down at the shining silverware. It was real, just like everything else in this ridiculous house. Midari's trophy wife probably made a point of polishing it on a regular basis. Jakotsu could see his reflection clearly, even on the smallest fork prong. Bright blue snake fangs glared back at him. Yes, normally he was a serpent; a deadly hunter that didn't think twice about pouncing and sinking it's fangs into anything it wanted.

But when it came to Bankotsu, that was not so.

_'Even if we never touch again, I will only love you more'_

He'd meant those words with all of his broken, tainted heart. Snake or not, he knew when to back off instead of strike. Bankotsu was so much more than prey. He loved him, truly loved him. And that was precisely why they could not be together. That younger, precious creature was his lover, not his victim like everyone thought…

_'Keep your pedophile, male parts away from my son!'_

'Pedophile?' It was so unfair that his age could taint something as beautiful as love. Jakotsu couldn't change that anymore than he could change his gender. But oh, how he wished he could… Already, it had been over two months since the last time he'd even dared speak to the one he loved, let alone touch him. He kept trying to tell himself it was better this way, that it really was wrong for the two of them to be together with such a substantial age difference. But that didn't make it any less painful. That didn't mitigate the terrible, nagging loneliness… "You're wrong. Everyone's wrong. I do love him…"

Midari was still watching him, though he'd already finished his coffee. Jakotsu avoided those sharp green eyes, hating the way they softened when they noticed the tears in his own. For a while neither of them spoke, and it seemed that Midari was contemplating something.

"But love doesn't matter…" Jakotsu finally muttered, pushing his coco away to focus on his partner, "since he's too young for me."  
"What?!" Suddenly those emerald eyes grew wide with surprise, but almost immediately the shock melted into amusement. "Too young?" Midari echoed, and now his calm, businesslike countenance had totally disappeared. He was practically laughing at the very idea. "Ja-Chan, you believe that kind of garbage?!"

Jakotsu merely stared at him, too shocked to answer.

"Love, everyone claims is more powerful than anything," Midari continued, "But then they go and let society get in the way! It's so ridiculous, how society forces these useless boundaries onto us. Even on something like love there are age limits and gender restrictions. Most people just follow the rules, like the mindless zombies they are…" He stood then and stalked right over to Jakotsu, leaning close to whisper to him. "Is that what you are, Ja-Chan? A zombie?"

Jakotsu shook his head automatically, letting Midari take him by the hand.  
"Come with me," his older companion suddenly proposed, tugging insistently.  
"Let me show you something, pretty little snake…"

Jakotsu obeyed without even thinking. He held the hand that was offered him and followed his insistent partner upstairs, to the master bedroom. "Leave!" Midari barked, and his wife immediately stood, bowing her way out of the room. Without questioning or even a backward glance, she simply obeyed and left the two of them alone. To the domineering redhead, she may as well not have existed.

"So the problem is statutory rape, ne?" Midari laughed derisively as he shoved Jakotsu onto his large, luxurious bed. "That is complete bullshit." He crawled right up on top of the younger male, whispering against those painted red lips. "Are you aware, Ja-Chan, that I am twice your age? But since you are eighteen, that is irrelevant. To society, we would be considered consenting adults… Now tell me, does that make any sense at all?"

'I hadn't even thought about that…' Jakotsu nearly shuddered as his more powerful partner pinned him down, but it didn't feel so bad. If he hadn't been told the actual number, he would never have guessed Midari's age. He was very handsome, and bore a striking resemblance to his much younger and very lovely son. His well-toned, masculine body held every ounce of the handsome charm necessary to create the perfect sexual partner. 'And of course, it doesn't hurt that he's filthy rich…'

"I can tell what you're thinking," those smooth, heated lips bragged, "and I'm sure you also realize I could do anything I want to you now, even if you refused. It's written all over your face, since you're not as stupid as you look." Midari chuckled, purposely running his tongue out over Jakotsu's snake fang tattoos. He obviously enjoyed watching his captive's growing discomfort.

"Don't-"

"Why do you bother saying that?" the older male teased, "I'm sure you can tell I'm the type of man who gets whatever he wants…"  
Jakotsu nodded, but still closed his eyes, leaning away from him, but this seemed only to please Midari even more. "Indulge me, Ja-Chan," he whispered, sounding amused, "Tell me: why is it that your consent doesn't even matter to me?"

Jakotsu lie back, letting those powerful hands pin him against the crisp white sheets as he thought it over. This room was like nothing he'd ever seen. Crystal sparkled back at him, glittering from the chandelier. He could see his entire reflection in the huge ceiling mirror. "Money…"

"Very good," Midari whispered. "Money. Power. Something a nobody like you can only dream about…" He slid a hand into Jakotsu's tight red dress, admiring the smooth swell of his beautiful hips. "You're so young. So lovely. But would anyone even notice if you never came home tonight?"

"Probably not..."

"That's right. You're just some nobody cross-dressing kid. To be perfectly honest, I own a company that makes people just like you disappear all the time… You're disposable, just another statistic."

"I know."

There was no point lying to those intense green eyes. They'd only read through it anyway. Jakotsu was anything but scared. He'd been pinned like this many times by many different people. Sadistic sexual partners, stronger, faster predators… But it hardly even mattered.  
He didn't have anything left to lose anyway. Could those sharp emerald eyes read that too?  
'Probably…'

"Too young? You don't even believe in that, the way you ogle my son…"

"Fuck you."

Midari actually laughed at that snappy comeback, grinning only more broadly. "I think I like this dirty mouth of yours," he mused, absently trailing his tongue over those pursed red lips. "There's just something about your face… Something dangerous…"

He backed up, just far enough to get a better view of those glaring onyx eyes, pressing a finger to one of the fangs on Jakotsu's cheeks. "A snake, that's what you are…"

"Well that is what my name means," the cross dresser informed, gazing up into Midari's almost identical, snake-like eyes. "And Kujaku means Peacock. Snake/Peacock. It doesn't make much sense."

"Oh, but it does," Midari assured, "Don't you know why peacocks are so very beautiful?"

"No."

"To attract their mate," he whispered, "how perfect to have both. Feathers to lure your lover in and fangs to ensure he could never leave. Sounds to me like the perfect combination…"

"Fangs are useless. They hurt people."

"They leave a blood trail," Midari agreed, "but even still, enough power can cover that up."

"You're obsessed with money."

"Not money, but power," he explained, "to take what you want and eliminate everything in your way. But doesn't everyone desire that very same thing?"

"No…"

"Don't lie. That's exactly what you want." Jakotsu gasped, recoiling as those sly, persistent hands snaked their way into his tight, red dress; cold fingers between his legs and hot whispers in his ear. "You and I are exactly the same, Jakotsu. You have no idea, but I always knew. The first time I heard your name. The first time I met those mean snake eyes that look just like mine…"

"Stop-"

"You don't want me to," Midari hissed, "I know you feel it too, that we should be one…"

"That doesn't make any sense…"

"Liar. Tell me the truth. Tell me you feel this connection. We are the same species… Predators. Snakes disguised as peacocks. Invisible fangs separate us from the lowly, human race…"

'He's psychotic…' Even while thinking this, Jakotsu closed his eyes, reveling in the heat of their physical connection. Something strange was pulsing inside of him. Something primitive and powerful; unquestionable. Of course he felt their true bond. Of course he longed to be what Midari was; prestigious and domineering, literally capable of having anything he wanted…

If they were the same species, then Midari was a king cobra and Jakotsu; a lowly python.  
How could he ever achieve that kind of raw, vicious dominion?

"I do feel it," he finally decided. Jakotsu knew just how to play along with this sick little game.  
"You want to be one with me?"  
"Yeah."  
"Badly?"  
"Yes, yes!" Jakotsu insisted, digging his long red nails into Midari's powerful shoulders and forcing him closer. "Harder, like you mean it!" the cobra commanded, practically moaning when those sharp nails finally broke the skin. The kisses he forced onto those plump red lips were more like bites; hungry, demanding, and now he really did moan, tasting that hot metallic blood. This feral, vicious display of affection had hit like a bolt of lightning, then ended just as suddenly.

Midari shoved his partner away and sat up, breathing heavily as he made to calm himself.  
"You've amused me long enough," he whispered, "I shall give you what you want."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah…" They kissed again, gently this time. Midari seemed sated by the blood. He absently licked the painful-looking wound he'd inflicted on those lips, mumbling against them. "You want that boy you love?"

"Yeah."

"Then you will have him."

"How?"

"Who cares? I can make it happen, anyway you like." Midari stood as he said this, leaving his still-stunned companion on the bed. "I could have his parents killed…"

"No, I don't want that."

"I thought you'd say that, since you're cute like my son" Midari shrugged, "Very well. I can provide a cute method too…" He wandered over to the armoire and retrieved something small and metallic-looking, then returned one moment later and leaned down close to those dark blue fangs, so close that their noses almost touched. "Promise me one thing in return…"

"Anything."

"Swear to me, pretty snake…" Onyx determination burned into emerald ferocity, and in that instant Jakotsu knew he must swear on his very life. "My son. My sweet, innocent Suzaku… So long as he remains a virgin, you must never sleep anywhere near him."

"That's all?"

"Foolish little Ja-Chan…" Midari shook his head. "Can't you see it in his eyes? Suzaku is everything we've lost. Every second of youth; every drop of innocence... And that is more valuable than the entirety of this dirty, despicable world. Swear you will not defile the flawless, innocent perfection that is my son. Promise me that one thing and I will give you anything. Anything."

"I swear."

"Perfect." He pressed that smooth metal object into Jakotsu's palm, and at the same time stole a kiss from those confused, painted red lips. "Now, lie back, just like that, with all my secrets on your lips… Your name that matches mine… And watch your dreams come true."

And that was it. Midari Kujaku stood right back up then, waving without looking back, and left Jakotsu alone in that dark, empty room.

Kujaku Jakotsu stared up at that mirror for a full minute before he could even find the strength to move. 'Impossible', yet here it was, in his hand. That little metal object was exactly what it felt like. It glinted in the light, reflecting his bloody red lips. The key to that matching, cherry-red convertible.

'So much for three more years.'


	4. To Fly

disclaimer

I, Kagura Fuujinnomai do not own Bankotsu, Jakotsu, Suzaku, Hiten or any of the other characters associated with the Inuyasha series.

I get nothing from writing my Fanfics.

I am simply a fangirl who wishes to share her passion with the rest of the world.

- sincerely,

Kagura Fuujinnomai

* * *

(AN. Warning: Spoilers ahead.  
Please do not read this chapter without having first read at least up to Chapter 22 of 'Not For All The World.'

This is the final chapter of '3 More Years.' My thanks to you for reading the story to completion.

As always, please Read, Review, and most importantly, Enjoy. )

**Chapter Four: To Fly  
**

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"How can there be no one home in a house this big?"

Bankotsu's mother stood outside of the Midari estate, staring up at the expansive, stately mansion. 'Well, at least it was nice to look at…' She sighed, deciding to stop ringing the doorbell and head on home. However, while walking down the driveway, she passed by the owner of that very house!

The tall, redheaded man was standing on a very expensive-looking white vehicle. Snow had started falling, sparkling white against the clear blue sky, but he didn't even bat an eyelash. His dark black shoes were leaving scuffmarks on the smooth white paint of the car, but he didn't seem to care about that either. His handsome face was pointed upward, toward the house, fixated on something…

"Excuse m-"

"Shh…" He pressed a finger to his lips and she fell silent, watching the snowflakes melt on those calm, handsome features. Curious, she made to stand beside him, trying to see what it was he was watching. Those emerald eyes did not diverge for even a second, but he noticed what she was trying to do. "Can you see him?" he whispered, gesturing off toward one of the many white balconies that branched off from his mansion-like home. "My darling son is out on his balcony."

"Oh." Now she noticed him, though it was hard to believe he was even a boy. The most beautiful person she'd ever seen was indeed standing on one of those balconies. Long red hair and snow white skin. He had his head rested on his arms and seemed to be staring off at the sky, much like his father.

"That is Suzaku." Kujaku explained, finally looking away from his son to meet this woman's eyes. "He is the light of my life; my precious little sparrow. On more magical days, if you listen closely, you can even hear him sing…"

He sat down and patted the space beside him, but she shook her head, not wanting to scuff up such a nice car. "I only came to find Jakotsu…" she explained.

"Oh, I know." he mumbled, again staring off at the angel on the balcony. "I assume you're the mother of that 'too young' boy… And just so you know, Jakotsu spoke very fondly of you."

"Really?"

"Yeah… He's not stupid. It's not hard to realize what a difficult time you must be going through. To be honest, I myself understand completely…"

'How can that be?' She didn't quite understand his vague line of reasoning, but did follow his eyes back up to the beautiful boy on the balcony.

"Teenagers…" Kujaku whispered, smiling wryly. "At this time in their lives, they really are just like birds. Birds with newly formed wings. They think they're ready to just up and fly away… But as parents we are then faced with the most difficult decision of our lives…"

"To let them fly off or keep them safe at home?"

"Precisely." He sighed, leaning back on his palms. "To me my son is hardly even human. More like an angelic little bird, with those big beautiful wings and that innocent little halo… Sometimes I really can hear him sing up there. Singing about that boy he loves. Singing about the one he wants to fly away to meet. Every note makes the pain worse. The heart splinters, breaking in my chest…"

Finally those sad emerald eyes met with her watery blue ones. "That's why I know what you're feeling right now…"

She nodded, leaning up against the car to watch the snow fall along with him. For a moment both were silent, but then she voiced a question. "So what will you do, then? Have you made the choice yet?"

"That is up to my little Sparrow. Hopefully he will allow me to keep those wings clipped just a little while longer. Since I'd die if he ever got hurt… And what about you? Will you hold on and try to keep your son safe?"

"It seems that keeping him safe only hurts Bankotsu more…"

"Then perhaps you should allow him to fly…"

"I think I must. Though that's so much easier said than done…"

"Don't I know it?" He smiled rather wryly, hopping down from the trunk of that amazing car.  
"Not all of us have the willpower to do what's right… To give up the ones we cherish above everything else. But that's supposed to be what love is all about right? Learning to let go…"

"Are you leaving?"

He paused, absently running a hand through that long red hair. "I must go speak to him," he explained, bowing so he could politely take his leave. "Beg him to stay, like the coward I am…"

She watched him walk away, and even though she didn't know his name, or if they'd ever meet again, she felt a connection with him. One she'd never known possible…

'Someone whose heart hurts exactly like mine…' And then she turned around, heading back to her own home. 'Yet I must learn to be so much stronger.'

* * *

"Aisuru what are you doing here?"

"Shh!" Jakotsu shoved his stunned companion into the nearest shower, whispering, even though he knew the locker room was empty. "Football practice on Saturdays is optional, isn't it?"

"Yeah, bu-"

"Well you're opting out!" He insisted, dragging his captive out of the room before any of the other football players arrived. The snow crushed beneath their feet as Bankotsu chased after the taller male, who for once was not wearing heels. Jakotsu must have planned to do this running.

The cross dresser led him all the way out into the back parking lot and hopped effortlessly into the shining red convertible. "Just get in!" He hissed, before Bankotsu could ask about the car.

In no time at all they had left the school far behind, traveling along the back roads to avoid as many prying eyes as possible.

"Whoa…"

Jakotsu chuckled, trying very hard to keep his eyes on the road. His highly amused companion had turned all the way around in his seat and was staring upward, watching the clouds race by. "Aisuru, this is so amazing. It's like flying…"

"Like a dream come true…"

"Yeah…" Bankotsu sat back down, still unable to believe this was even happening. 'Incredible…' he couldn't stop running his hands over the leather interior of the car. Was it going to fade away, back into a dream? The wind in his hair was starting to turn his ears red, but he didn't mind. This road was unfamiliar, but he was anything but troubled. Jakotsu had a confident smile on his face. He seemed to know exactly where he was going, so that's all that mattered. Bankotsu couldn't help but lean over and put a hand on one of those warm, porcelain hips. 'He's real,' he kept thinking, "I can touch you…"

That comment made Jakotsu laugh. He absently reached up and pressed a button above the dashboard which caused the convertible roof to slide back up over them. At the same time the heating system engaged itself and warm comfort swept throughout, but it needn't have bothered. Somehow Bankotsu felt that he'd never be cold or uncomfortable again. "Aisuru…"

The car pulled to a stop, the red light glaring, but Bankotsu didn't even notice. He leaned forward and caught those cherry red lips; mesmerized.

"That's enough," his love whispered, gently nudging him back, "can't drive if you're on me."

"Sorry..." No, he wasn't, but Jakotsu already knew that. Bankotsu sat back in his seat with a finger to his lips. That intoxicating taste lingered. Precious, sweet… God he was hungry. For the first time in weeks… but his body still did not crave food. It craved that kiss, that touch…

Suddenly it was dark. It seemed Jakotsu had driven into some kind of tunnel. The car stopped before a large, metal gate with a bright red sign. 'Restricted Area. Authorization Required Beyond this Point.' Jakotsu reached over and pulled the decal from the rearview mirror. The automatic windows slid out of the way and he scanned the decal on an electronic eye, which beeped and flashed green. "Wow," Bankotsu heard himself say. The gate did not even open, but sank into the ground to let them pass. "Where are we, Aisuru?"

"Midari Inc." the cross dresser replied, though he knew the name would not sound familiar.  
"This is where I live now." He pulled right into the very first parking spot, which had green lettering all across the sides. "Reserved For President Midari?" Bankotsu read, absently removing his seatbelt as Jakotsu held the door open for him.

"Yeah, Midari himself gave me all of this. The guy's a fuckin' maniac. But a very useful one." He put the decal back in its place, clicked the little black button on his carkeys and watched the convertible lock itself down with a chirp.

"Come."  
Bankotsu took his hand, admiring those perfectly manicured, bloodred nails as Jakotsu led the way. The glass doors of the elevator opened automatically to admit them and one of those smooth red nails mashed the very top button, which was not labeled.

"It's like company housing or some shit." Jakotsu explained, "executive and CEO suites are on the top floors." With a beep the doors slid back open, and again Jakotsu took the lead. The place looked like a mix between a high-end hotel and a corporate office. Rich carpeting, marble floors and lush indoor greenery stretched on either side. Men and women bustled about, each wearing an identical black suite with large red 'M's embroidered on their chests. "Good morning, Kujaku-sama," more than one of these people greeted Jakotsu as he passed, and he offered a bow in return for each of theirs. "Raiyuki!" The receptionist nodded with a smile as the two of them approached her large, ebony desk. "Yes, Kujaku-sama?"

"Do me a favor?" Jakotsu wondered, returning her cheerful nod. "Of course, Kujaku-sama."

"I have a guest today, lock up behind me so we wont be disturbed?"

"Certainly. Would you still like lunch delivered at 12?"

Jakotsu turned, raising an eyebrow at his younger companion. Bankotsu shrugged guiltily and the cross dresser took that as a yes. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

"Very well. I do hope you enjoy your stay."

Bankotsu felt his face flush as she offered him a bow and returned it automatically before hurrying off to follow his leader. This time Jakotsu had to scan his own fingers to get the doors to open, and when they stepped through, Bankotsu couldn't help but gasp when his eyes met the magnificent splendor of this 'bedroom.' He felt that he'd just stepped outdoors. There were actually flowing, lit up fountains on either side of them, leading the way in. Glittering stones and soft blue lights gave the perfect illusion of walking out into a garden at twilight.

"Ridiculous, isn't it?" Jakotsu tittered, gesturing toward the floating light fixtures, which looked just like water lilies. "You can set them for daytime or nighttime."

He kicked off his shoes and Bankotsu did the same, carefully treading on, over a traditional Japanese bridge. Beneath his bare feet, bright golden and red koi flittered about through the calm, clear water, and past the bridge, the ground turned to plush carpet which mimicked soft green grass.

"It's supposed to be the garden of Eden," Jakotsu explained, kicking some of the fake flowers out of his way as he passed. "But I think it's just more proof that Midari has way too much money on his hands…"

Bankotsu was in awe. It did look exactly like a garden. There were rosebushes and cherry blossoms everywhere. The ceiling had been cleverly disguised to mimic the night sky so the lighting twinkled just like stars. There was even a picnic area, complete with wrought iron table and chairs. A large black pond was fixed directly in the center of the room, but when Jakotsu wandered down the stairs and hopped down into it, Bankotsu realized it was a cleverly disguised water bed. "Wow…"

The mattress felt cool beneath his fingers. Gingerly he climbed onto the bed as well, feeling just like he'd fallen into some kind of moonlit fantasy. Jakotsu seemed to read his mind. "We're not here to look at the scenery." Those mischievous lips quirked into a sultry grin, and true to his word, Jakotsu wasted not another second before undressing. His tight black skirt was first to go, followed by his fur coat and silken blouse. Forgotten clothing piled up somewhere beneath the trick water's surface and that long, dark hair fell about his shoulders as he beckoned his young love to come hither.

Bankotsu obeyed without a moment's delay. 'Yes, yes!' his mind was already screaming. Somehow, miraculously, the mesmerizing curves of this flawless, tempting body turned out to be more than just imagined bliss. His fingers slid along each heated, porcelain inch and Bankotsu felt almost dizzy. Those warm, tantalizing lips finally met his own cool, starved ones. The pair of them tumbled onto those silk sheets, surrendering completely to the dreamlike passion of this breathtaking, erotic fantasy land.

Their tongues wrestled; danced and intoxicating arousal sparked wherever their heated, bare skin met. Those skilled fingers worked Bankotsu out of his clothing without a hitch. He didn't even notice. The 'stars' winked down into dark blue eyes as those cherry lips traced over his entire body; worshiping, bathing him in fiery, passionate kisses.

"Oh…" Bankotsu could not even speak. Those sorely missed, open-mouthed kisses had found their way between his legs. Careful, gentle hands bid his knees to bend for easier access; deeper, wetter contact. He slid his fingers into that smooth, dark hair, encouraging; begging. "Yes, yes, just like that."

Jakotsu obeyed, taking the entirety of that smooth, caramel rod into his mouth. Each hot, tender inch teased; mouthwatering and sweet. The liquid pleasure kissed bitter satisfaction to the back of his throat and that panting, gasping voice still begged for more and more. Oh, that husky delicious scent. This insistent, hardened candy cock. Every moment was making him positively dizzy with arousal…

Finally he released that precious treasure and forcibly claimed Bankotsu's lips instead. His young lover welcomed the kisses on his lips now, tasting a little of himself. Their sweet, sopping wet kiss grew only deeper, more desperate. Carefully Jakotsu lowered himself, guiding that slick, insistent rod inside of his waiting body. The smooth, fluid motion of Bankotsu's initial, powerful thrust was almost enough to push him right over the edge. "Wait..." they panted in unison, yet rested for only a moment. That rhythm picked right back up, crashing with the waves of the water mattress and then quickening to match the moans and shuddering breath.  
"Yes! Deeper," Sweet Jakotsu begged, arching that sexy, slender back. Then he let himself be rolled over and fucked even harder, faster. "Yes, oh..."  
Possessive, dominant mocha crashed against submissive, insatiable cream-colored hips for what they only wished could be an eternity. But the final plunge came, sudden yet sweet.  
Two came as one; their frustration melting into shuddering, passionate, orgasmic bliss.

As that slick satisfaction painted his stomach, Bankotsu collapsed atop his equally exhausted partner. With that wet, erotic evidence pressed between their tightly joined chests, they kissed again and again, whispering their sweet words of devotion.

"I love you, I love you, Oh so much." "-missed you," "-dreamt of you," "every single night." "couldn't sleep." "couldn't even breathe…" "without you." "Aisuru…"

Their words jumbled together, but neither cared. Two hearts beat as one so both understood despite the panting, stumbling confessions. Both were on the verge of tears, clinging so tightly that it hurt just to breathe. Shamelessly those onyx eyes shed their sorrow, and Bankotsu kissed every drop of it away. "Never again," he promised yet begged, stroking and soothing that shivering, beautiful body. "I love you, I need you. Have to be with you. Simple as that…"

Slowly their fervor began to calm. A gentle, mutual silence settled between them, broken intermittently by forcedly quieted sobs and cute, affectionate sniffles. Pleasant, bittersweet kisses won out over words. And finally the reborn lovers lay together, resting in the afterglow of their renewed, unified perfection. "I love you," sweet Jakotsu purred. "I know you do," his Bankotsu teased. "Only you," those red lips insisted. "Only you too," he nuzzled right back.

"Three more yearsss…" the sultry snake hissed, and those blue eyes winked back.

"can kiss my ass."

* * *

"What do you mean he's not here?" Bankotsu's mother and best friend were cursing the sky at the exact same time, but on opposite sides of the city. One of them turned around and stalked away from Jakotsu's mother while the other skipped out on his friends after football practice.

Their roads intersected at the same place, at the same time, right in front of Bankotsu's home.  
"Have you seen Jakotsu?"  
"Have you seen Bankotsu?"

"Who is that?"  
"He's not with you?"

"Nevermind," The older of the two sighed. She then turned and led the way into her house, ushering for Hiten to follow her to the kitchen. "If my husband comes home, please tell him you already saw Ban-Chan at school." The confused teenager took the chair she offered him, nodding in the positive.

"Alright."

She gave him a tired smile, wandering over to the refrigerator. "I bet you like chocolate, just like Ban-Chan…"

"Actually, yeah I do."

She went right to work preparing a large, chocolate milkshake and set it in front of her guest. "Also," she requested, "remind Ban-Chan to open his Christmas present. There's one for you too on his bed."

"Alright…"

"Please make yourself at home. I will be right back."  
And with that she wandered off, leaving Hiten by himself. "Weird people…" he muttered, sipping on his shake. Bankotsu arrived just a few minutes later, but froze at the entrance to the kitchen. "Rai-Chan, what're you doing here?"

"Looking for you, duh." Hiten scoffed, raising an eyebrow at the sudden panic on his best friend's face. "What?"

"Now my parents will know I skipped practice you dumbass!"

"So?"

Bankotsu practically growled, tugging on his hair in his frustration. "Oh my god, Rai-Chan you're so fucking cluelesssssssss…"

"I don't see what the big deal is," Hiten went right back to work on his milkshake, ignoring his rather spastic best friend. "You people don't make any sense…"

"Just come on!" Bankotsu practically dragged Hiten out of the kitchen and made to duck into his bedroom, intending to hide there for the remainder of the day, but unfortunately someone had already beaten him to the punch.

"Mama what are you doing here?"

Bankotsu stared in disbelief at his mother, who was seated on his bed. She didn't answer the question, but stood immediately to leave. As she passed, she very discretely handed him a small, white envelope. "Don't worry, I won't tell your father," she whispered, and that was it. He raised an eyebrow at those sad blue eyes, and in that instant he wanted to stop her, but chose not to. She simply bowed out of the room, leaving him alone with his best friend and wandered back out to the front of the house.

"Your parents are so weird," Hiten immediately commented, stealing her place on the bed. Bankotsu however remained frozen; speechless. 'So Mama doesn't care I skipped practice? I'm not in trouble?' It was way too good to be true. 'She must know I was exactly where I wasn't supposed to be…'

He closed the door and turned away from Hiten, who seemed to be distracted anyway.  
"Oh yeah, the Christmas presents…" He heard Hiten mumble, but Bankotsu ignored this and ripped open his mother's letter instead.

**'I love you so much. Please tell Jakotsu, thanks for having faith in me, even after I said such terrible things. I hope you can forgive me too, because the truth is, you make me so proud. I just want you to be happy, wherever you are. From now on I will trust in you and support you no matter what. So follow your heart and fly to wherever it leads.**

**Ps. Please be safe!'**

Bankotsu could hardly believe his eyes. He read over the note twice, just for good measure, and then pressed it firmly to his chest, unable to say or do anything else. For a moment he was alone in the world, with nothing but this sudden rush of unfathomable joy. The little note bathed relief onto the heart that was once so grievous and strained.

"Awe! What the hell?"  
Bankotsu came back down from cloud nine and turned to his best friend who was holding up his newly unwrapped Christmas present. "Your parents just get weirder and weirder…"

Hiten ripped the box open and let the contents litter the ground. Small, colorful squares of plastic lightly bounced on the soft, plush carpeting. "Condoms." He scoffed, tossing over Bankotsu's gift as well. "Bet yours is too…"

'Oh, I get it!' Bankotsu had to try very hard not to burst out laughing as he opened his own gift and beheld the exact same thing. _'Be safe.'_

"I'm sorr-" he tried to say, but wound up losing out to the hilarity of the situation.  
Hiten instinctively caught hold of Bankotsu, who promptly fell right over, spilling condoms everywhere during the ensuing hysterical fit of giggles.

"Well I'm glad you think this is so funny," Hiten sighed, glaring down at those lit pink cheeks. He was trying to sound annoyed, but had probably failed, since Bankotsu only laughed harder.

"I love-" he choked out, in between the laughter, "my mother!"

"Fine then," Hiten sighed, dropping him onto the ground. 'Why is it I'm the only one who always loses?' He sat down, watching Bankotsu try to catch his breath, but still couldn't help smiling right back at those joyful blue eyes. Absently he stroked those thick bluish bangs, not even bothering to ask Bankotsu to explain his strange behavior. 'I love this weirdass boy…'

"Hiten," Bankotsu snickered, "you really don't want your condoms? I figure a guy like you would need plenty of those…"

"Nope," he replied simply, "They're too small to fit me."

"Really?" The other boy sat up, examining one of the many colorful packages. "How can you tell? It doesn't say what size…"

"Well the larger ones should say 'large'," Hiten explained, ripping one open with his teeth.  
"See, much too small." He held it up to show Bankotsu, but this only made him burst into another fit of giggles. 'So immature.' He sighed, pinning his still snickering best friend beneath himself. "Here, let's see if they'll fit you."

"No, no!" Bankotsu insisted, "I'm allergic to latex."

"Liar."

"Rai-Chan!" Bankotsu squirmed his way out from under him and bolted out the door, still laughing hysterically as Hiten gave chase. They wound up running right into Bankotsu's father, who tumbled to the ground along with them, looking almost as miffed as they were amused.

"What the hell are you boys doing?"

"Playing with condoms." Hiten replied simply, surprised by the sudden frozen look on the older male's face. "Oops, I think I killed him…"

"You really need to learn how to lie," Bankotsu chuckled, leaning up against his best friend for support. "My stomach hurts from laughing too much…"

Bankotsu waved to his mother as she stepped over them, shrugging along the way.  
"Still like Hiten better, darling?"

"I hate all of you," her husband sighed, and the other three burst into laughter.

* * *

The snow was still fluttering along, teased with each gentle gust of wind.

Midari Suzaku had lost track of just how long he had been standing outside just watching it snow. There was something about those beautiful, soaring little feathers. If only he too could spread his wings and fly on the wind with those dreamy white flakes…

Today, like any other day, he was dreaming; hoping, wishing…  
Every time he blinked those chocolate eyes flashed in his mind. That long, dark braided hair…  
Cocky, cheerful Raiyuki Hiten; the one his heart still longed for. Time was fluttering too, just like that sweet white snow; counting down the seconds until his lucky stars would finally align.  
'Someday,' he whispered in his mind, refusing to admit. His hands pressed to his chest of their own accord, feeling the beat of the trapped heart beneath. 'I too will fly away…'

And he already knew exactly where he wanted to land.  
'in his arms…'

His father approached from behind, but the younger redhead didn't even startle.

"Hello Kujaku…"

Powerful arms wrapped around him; possessive, controlling.  
"Jakotsu wont be coming back." Kujaku whispered.

"I know," his son replied vaguely. "I figured it was only a matter of time before you got jealous and chased him away…"

Kujaku chuckled; amused. His tone was conversational, yet his voice was laced with something like syrupy-sweet venom. "You're so smart, ChibiSu..."

"You didn't hurt him, did you?"

"Just a bit."

"He's alive?"

"As long as you want him to be."

"Forever, I love him very much."

"I thought you'd say that."

"Have you put him somewhere safe and comfortable?"

"Yeah. A new place to live…"

"What about other expenses? Maintenance for that car..."

"Hmm…" Kujaku pulled Suzaku closer, absently burying his face into that sleek, red velvet hair.  
"Guess I'll have to provide that too…"

"Yes you will. I think five million yen should be just about enough…"

"Bossy, bossy, ChibiSu…" His father tittered, "but ooh, something about that turns me on…"

Suzaku closed his eyes, trying to ignore the wet heat of his father's snakelike kiss. Those fangs sank into his neck, with careful pressure so as not to leave marks.  
"It's worth it if Ja-Chan will no longer be lonely…"

"I wouldn't care if Jakotsu dropped dead," Kujaku whispered back, hissing in his ear.  
"But for you, ChibiSu, I'd take his place in hell."

"I know."

"Oh, Suzaku," his father sighed, nuzzling closer still, "I'll make you love me yet."

"Oh, Kujaku," The younger male mocked, shoving those insistent hands away. "You will try."  
With that said Suzaku stalked off, wandering back into the house, but Kujaku watched him leave without any argument. "Statutory rape," he scoffed, trying not to laugh.

"Three more years is nothing. I would chase _him_ for three hundred…"

* * *

For Suzaku those three years passed and began to fade into nothingness; forgotten, just like a bad dream.  
Somewhere along the way Suzaku bought that golden locket and finally, like Jakotsu, gave his own heart to its rightful owner.

_'My heart around your beautiful neck.'_

Hiten was taken by surprise. For nine years they had known each other and Suzaku had not breathed a word of the secret love he'd held all along. But now it was clear, hanging heavy around his neck, glowing warmly in those emerald eyes, radiating with the gentle pulse of the docile body beneath his own… 'I want you.' Those pink lips had breathed.

Suzaku gazed up, expectantly.  
At first those chocolate eyes were worried. Those strong arms held him, though hesitantly.  
But Suzaku was truly his father's son; stubborn. He was born to get what he wanted, that fact would never change… 'If you insist,' his precious Hiten whispered, and Suzaku carefully read through that with his inherited sharp, green eyes…

"I know you want me just as bad," he decided.

"Oh really?"  
Suzaku watched Hiten's reaction with much interest. Was he taking that as some kind of challenge? Everything was a game to him. Life itself; an adventure. Whether tackling his adversary on the football field or tumbling with his lover in bed, it was still a game and Raiyuki Hiten would surely enjoy every second. He carelessly let his own clothes drop to the floor to join Suzaku's and then wasted no time in exploring his newest playing field. He seemed to be in awe, as if he just could not believe what he was seeing, feeling and finally tasting.

Soon everything grew hot; too hot for inhibition and too hot to read with his eyes anymore… "Wow," his Hiten mumbled, sometime between the 56th and 67th kiss. Suzaku had lost count. He was too overwhelmed to think. A few times Hiten even growled, enjoying the marks he was leaving, and that alone was dizzily arousing.

Was Hiten just excited by new territory or genuinely interested? Suzaku didn't know, nor did he care. Tonight it didn't matter. Nothing mattered but the heat of those kisses and that touch. They were new; exotic, and so much better than the naïve redhead had ever imagined…

"Oh…" Suzaku shuddered, letting that shameless desire drip from his mouth; encouraging. Those powerful arms held him down as Hiten bowed to press another kiss between his legs.

"You're already this wet?" Hiten's voice was teasing, playing off his satisfied amusement.  
'How cute.' Apparently Suzaku could not even speak so Hiten teased a bit more.  
"Sensitive aren't you…" That wasn't even a question, and he was too preoccupied to listen to the answer anyway. He slid his tongue carefully over Suzaku's dripping, tantalizing erection, relishing every smooth, tender inch before carefully taking it fully into his mouth…

"Oh... but Hiten…"

"Hmm?"

"I- This is… Oh…" He still couldn't speak. Suzaku stifled another shuddering moan, burning red with embarrassment and Hiten merely continued to worship this lovely body, thoroughly enjoying himself. He let those erotic noises guide his movement, suckling with precise, careful accuracy to elicit as much pleasure as possible. His wet fingers slid between those hot, vanilla cheeks and again Suzaku attempted to speak. "Wait, wait… Haah…"

'He's telling me to stop now?'  
Suzaku had those painted red nails on his lips. His tantalizing body writhed with intense, seemingly overwhelming arousal. It was so tempting to just ignore his words and continue, but Hiten conceded. He let that glossy vanilla rod slide from his mouth and sat up to question those panting pink lips. "What is it?"

"I…" Dark, lust-filled emerald eyes sparkled up into his patient chocolate ones.

'I've never done this before…' Suzaku avoided Hiten's gaze, unable to admit something so humiliating to his experienced, handsome partner. Both were silent for a moment, aside from Suzaku's forcibly quieted panting. 'But I want him so bad…' Hiten leaned in and gave him a long, deep kiss, seeming a bit impatient, but he was waiting, just as requested. As soon as those lips released his own Suzaku forced himself to speak. "Just…"

"Hmm?" Hiten slid right back down between his legs, absently licking those same two fingers.  
"Be gentle…" those sweet pink lips finally whispered, and Hiten almost laughed.

"Don't be stupid." That cocky smile flashed as he said this and Suzaku lie back down with the embarrassment burning almost as hot as his flaming desire. "Of course I will."  
With that said, Hiten slid his wet, careful fingers into that tight, virgin entrance, unaware of the priceless treasure he was claiming. It was more a matter of routine for him. This was how it should be done to heighten his partner's pleasure. He delicately teased those quivering, clenching muscles further open and then resumed his starving worship of the heated vanilla treat between those beautiful legs, taking note of Suzaku's renewed moans of encouragement. "Oh… Yes- Hiten…"

'Wow.' the combination of his sweet, heated taste and purring voice was starting to make Hiten dizzy with almost painful arousal. 'This man is fucking delicious…' Humiliating thoughts like this just would not quit flitting through his mind, but of course Hiten refused to speak them aloud. Instead he just continued to worship that flawless, quivering body, letting those amazing, erotic noises pour fuel on his own flaring, frustrated desires. Oh, Suzaku was so tight; incredible. His fingers were already starting to hurt. "Relax for me…"

Suzaku nodded but almost immediately threw his head back, moaning in either pain or pleasure, it was impossible to tell. Now three wet fingers slid inside of that tight, heated body. The pressure must have been intense. But when Hiten leaned forward again and put his mouth back where it belonged, Suzaku shuddered; obviously begging for more. "Oh, Hiten…"

'Say that again,' Instinctive, automatic thoughts like this forced their way into his consciousness, much like the sudden urge to replace those fingers with something so much better. But Hiten carefully resisted, determined to first focus on Suzaku's pleasure.

'Strange.' Everything about this situation was just so strange. Usually he would never bother putting his partner first, but now it was all he wanted. There was just something special about this delectable redhead… He listened intently to that sweet, deep moaning as it began to escalate and moved his tongue in perfect sync with his gently pumping fingers.

"C- Can I?"  
Suzaku panted, and Hiten responded by baring down harder on the succulent object of his fervent obsession. That long, shuddering moan was well worth the slightly bitter tang of his climax, and Hiten spit it right back out, carefully catching it so as not to waste a single drop.

Suzaku was still catching his breath, but he watched with much interest as Hiten stroked that pearly white liquid onto himself. 'How clever,' the redhead couldn't help but think. Then those fingers slid out and Hiten made to replace them with the much larger, much more painful object of his true desire. "Relax," he warned again, and Suzaku obeyed. The determined redhead took careful, deep breaths and closed his eyes, but it still took everything in him to avoid crying out. The pain shot up his back and forced it to arch. The tears burned, wet and hot, just like the smoldering pressure between his legs. And now he was forced to breathe so much harder, feeling so much hotter; overwhelmed. The sweat dripped along with those tears and the heat only intensified with the pain. He hadn't meant to, but at that point Suzaku allowed the tiniest whimper to escape his trembling lips and Hiten immediately noticed. The stronger, experienced male paused to allow him time to adjust, and then nuzzled closer, whispering comfort against that sweet-scented neck. "It's okay…"

"I'm sorry," his redhead angel whimpered, unable to force those watery green eyes open again.  
"Don't be," Hiten soothed, catching those cute, pouting lips in his own and kissing them again and again. Sweet, tender distractions. 'Don't stop,' that amazing body begged.

The kisses deepened easily but Hiten ensured their more intimate connection would progress as slowly and gently as possible. Each completed thrust made Suzaku's breath hitch and Hiten lost count of the whimpers he swallowed. But oh, being inside of him felt simply amazing. Those tight, clenching, heated muscles; almost painful perfection. Even the smallest movement brought forth a renewed rush of intense, erotic bliss. It was torturous to hold back; but oh, still so sweet… The second he released those lips Suzaku threw his magnificent head back and moaned his name. 'Fuck.' Hiten bit down on that sweet-scented neck, forcing his eyes closed and at the same time shoving himself fully into that incredible, decadent heat. It was like nothing he'd ever felt before. Suzaku's shuddering, pleading voice positively dripped with desire, yet hissed with pain at the exact same time. "Please don't stop." those stubborn lips insisted, knowing already that he wouldn't dare. 'Suzaku wants this,' Hiten carefully reminded himself. 'he wants me.'

The cool metal of the golden locket was pressed against their tightly joined chests. It seemed to encourage, desperately pleading along with that trembling voice. Their hips crashed together again and again.  
_'I've always been…' _It hurt so good. Sweet, delicious, precious Suzaku,  
_'In love with you.'_ Faster, harder. Every stroke drove him closer to the edge. At that moment Hiten clearly felt those invisible red strings begin to wind around his neck; sealing his fate, but he only moaned encouragement. He already knew the addiction would only intensify. He'd known ever since he first touched that golden heart and secretly, shamefully longed for its heated, beating counterpart. Tonight was the night he'd finally carve that name into his body. "Su-za-ku," he found himself panting along with those perfect, heated strokes, matching his partner's moans. 'It's true. I want you just as bad.'

Their two bodies would now join as one, just like their two hearts. Neither could live without the other. Neither could dare. Yes, it felt like flying, but Hiten knew that he was only falling harder; becoming enraptured.

**'I too have fallen…'**  
**Deeply;** those perfect, precise thrusts.  
**Hopelessly**; entwined, insatiable bodies.  
**Completely;** one final plunge; immortalizing a sacred vow. Liquid ecstasy pumped into that waiting, shivering body as those green eyes locked with his.

**'In love with you.'**

* * *

fin

* * *

(AN2: Afterword. As I wrote this, all I could think about was Carl Rogers. "The Cure for neurosis is love."  
Some hopeless romantics truly believe that. I am one of them.

As you may know, this story is continued in the one called "Not For All The World."

It would make my heart flutter to see you read that one as well.

Til we meet again!

Please do leave me a review and let me know what you think!)


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